I Beg You All, Please Shut Up - Chapter 5: It’s Actually My Own Issue

At eighteen years old, Lin Qingyu was married as part of a Chong Xi into the Nan’an Hou Mansion, becoming the ill Lu Wancheng’s male wife.

On the eve of their wedding, Young Master Hou lay lazily on the bed and said, “Beauty, to be honest, I really don’t want to engage in domestic struggles. I just want to drift along, eat and wait to die. I want to be a salted fish.”

A year later, Young Master Hou became gravely ill. He took Lin Qingyu’s hand and sighed, “Wife, I’m going to die, but I think I can continue to transmigrate. In order for you to properly recognize me in the future, let us set a secret code.”

After the death of Young Master Hou, Lin Qingyu was prepared to stay a widow all his life. Unexpectedly, after only half a year, the great general who had rendered outstanding military service, actually came to propose marriage.

Lin Qingyu would rather die. But the general said but one statement, “If odd, change; if even, remain the same?”

Lin Qingyu: “…I will marry you.”

After two years, the general died in battle. Before Lin Qingyu even had time to grieve, he was recruited into the palace by the Emperor.

The emperor complained aggrievedly, “Baobei, this time I have became the Emperor. My salted fish dreams have been completely shattered…”

Lin Qingyu knew that although his husband was a bag of lazybones, no one was his equal when it came to conspiracy and schemes.

He rubbed the Emperor’s head. “Don’t think about it. Get started on those reports. Behave yourself.”

“That’s a jinx and must be rid of. It’s that or you and your family get out of here.”

Su Xiaolu was transmigrated into this world as a newborn, and the instant she opened her eyes, she was deemed a burden and a jinx by a venomous grandmother-in-law.

Her father, Su Sanlang, gritted his teeth and said, “Alright then, you can separate us from the family and we’ll leave.”

For the sake of keeping her alive, they were forced to leave the main family and start a new life elsewhere. They ventured into a new profession, went hunting, and their lives gradually improved.

Despite being called a jinx, she became the apprentice of a divine physician at the age of three, inherited his legacy, and became known to the world. She treated her brothers’ brain disease and her eldest brother became a profound martial artist while her second brother became a scholar. They all brought glory to their family.

Now a divine physician herself and well-versed in nutritious recipes, she owned the largest restaurant in the Zhou Dynasty and earned so much money that she couldn’t possibly finish spending them in ten lives.

Her family grew more prosperous and their horrible relatives showed up, trying to ride their coattails.

Su Xiaolu smirked. “Close the gates and release the tiger!”

[Apprenticeship successful, reward: 2 Enlightenment Chances!]

[Disciple comprehends Fearless Sword Intent, reward: 3 Enlightenment Chances!]

[Disciple comprehends the true essence of Medicine Divine Body, reward: 5 Enlightenment Chances!]

…

After taking on an apprentice, the greater the gains of the disciple, the more Enlightenment Chances are rewarded.

To accept more disciples widely (actually for number of epiphanies), Li Cheng no longer wants to ascend.

“Martial Uncle, please ascend quickly! Your disciples have become big shots in the Immortal World!”

Looking at his disciples dominating various domains, Li Cheng: ???

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*Lemons? - In excess!!!*

*V's? - Of course yes!!*

*Plot? - Divine!!

[Stop right here cultured bros and sis. Hope you are skillful with holding your phone in one hand? Because I bet ya, you'll need to, lol]...

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“Put some pants on, your d**k is staring at me” the lady in white heavenly transparent attire said to Alex. Alex looked around trying to figure out if truly this was heaven and if he had died. He wasn't all too sad about it because at the end, if heaven had naked women walking around, then it did live up to the hype.

“You are dead but it's a bit complicated. You see, I know a way you can go back, but I can't guarantee you'd get what you want. Do you want to go through with being reborn?” The lady with the alluring body said to Alex. With every word escaping her kissable lips, Alex listened with keen attention. Of course he would, for all he knew, he was basically staring at a god's p*ssy. That alone had beat all the accomplishments of his life time.

“Yes, I'll do it,” Alex agreed to being a subject of the lady's experiment knowing fully well it could be the end of him.

******

Alex Riley, a man in his late thirties whose life changed into a nightmare when he caught his wife cheating with his boss. Frustrated, Alex left his apartment but little did he know he was living his life behind as a terrible accident occurred that lead to his boss and wife dying.

Alex is pinned down for the death of the two. Alex now having spent about a lifetime in prison finally decides to give into the charms of his prison Warden, Brenda.

Brenda had chased Alex for years but finally, she got hold of him. Now engaged in the act with Brenda or as he was about to, Alex discovered Brenda might be too much for him.

Alex died a pitiful and ridiculous death. His whole life ended in a flash as he found himself drifting away from Brenda's unrestrained bouncing on him.

But second chance awaits Alex and he looks to make good use of it.

Now reborn in a new world, Alex finds himself starting over. A new start..a very very different world from the one he knew before.

However, Alex runs into the impossible.

Alex finds himself in a squabble with a god, the lust god.

And of course Alex was defeated but not just that. The lust got made Alex his herald.

Now blessed with a system by the lust god, Alex is tasked with the heavy burden of collecting wives.

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