Me! The Strongest Alchemist! - Chapter 93 - Eternal Ice Mountain

**CAUTION: CONTAINS ELEMENT OF TABOO,I Dreamed of Cultivation... and Got Homework Instead!“Ah, reincarnation into a xianxia world! Time to wield swords, shoot qi bullets, and become the overlord of the heavens!”At least, that’s what Lin Mao thought would happen. Instead, he woke up in a scholar’s robe, surrounded by ink-stained fingers and people debating... philosophy.“This isn’t the path to immortality! This is the path to finals!”Now Lin Mao has to navigate his life in the prestigious Sky Moon Sect, where flying on swords is nothing but a dream. The only thing flying is debates and enlightenment that comes from philosophy, not martial arts.Instead of fighting demonic beasts, he's fighting grumpy senior brothers, mysterious sect elders, and his master that has a.......long beard.“Who needs qi cultivation when you have the ‘Path of Society’? What does that even mean?!And why does everyone here hate jokes?!”Filled with nothing but Earth’s most degenerate novels, his unhinged personality, and his special ability to accidentally piss people off, Lin Mao is determined to shake up the scholar world.He might not be a cultivator, but who says he can’t make being a scholar legendary?“This isn’t the dream I signed up for, but whatever. If they are going to make me study, I’ll do it my way!”****This novel will be story-focused, blending humor, character development, and world-building. However, it will also include R18 elements with detailed smut for those who enjoy a little spice in their story. You’ve been warned!***[ Tags ]R-18 | Mature | Adult | Smut | Harem | Ecchi | Hentai | NSFW | Netori | Blowjob | Anal | Sex | Threesome | Foursome | Hardcore | Feet | Thick | Thicc | Loli | Milf | Gilf | Young & Mature | Choking | Out doors | Humiliation | Bdsm | Fetish | Action | Handsome MC | Weak to Strong MC | Comedy | Wise

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn’t help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire.

Firstly, what in the world is the “Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis” spell? And don’t even get me started on the “Osteoporosis” spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like “Blood Burn,” “Gradual Freeze,” and “Mental Chaos.” Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities?

Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield “Doomstorm” and “Ice Age,” swordsmen boast “Sword Rain: Homecoming” and “Wind-Cutter Slash,” while archers showcase “Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars” and “Storm Arrow.” Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named “Cancer Cell Proliferation,” “T-Virus Infection,” and “Rabies Outbreak.”

In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, “Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!”

Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, “Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don’t know!”

Even a boss character confesses, “Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!”

The strong are lonesome. Overcoming the loneliness pushes you to stand invincible at the top.

Pro-disciple of the Shaolin Temple on earth, Huang Xiaolong was reborn into a Martial Spirit world, carrying Hua Xia’s secret knowledge, the Body Metamorphose Scripture. In a Martial Spirit world, only those with Martial Spirit are able to train in battle qi and become a warrior.

Huang Xiaolong born with a heaven-defying rare Martial Spirit was mistakenly taken for common variant Martial Spirit during the awakening ceremony conducted by the tribe and thus sidelined. However, Huang Xiaolong with his common “variant” Martial Spirit again, and again displayed unnatural talent, defeating geniuses, shocking the clan and the entire Martial Spirit World

- Description from novelupdates

Bad news: Xu Yanmiao traveled back to ancient times, but he himself is lazy and uninterested in anything but internet cybersecurity, which is useless in ancient times.Good news: He’s bound to a system.Bad news: The system is called the Gossip System, not the fortune-telling kind, but the kind that contains other people’s private information and scandals. Utterly useless.More bad news: This system is also glitchy, and the extent of the bugs is unknown.Even more bad news: This body is that of a minor official who can attend court meetings, while Xu, the time traveler… doesn’t understand the classics, can’t write with a brush, and is at risk of being exposed for cheating in the imperial exams.Xu Yanmiao: “…”Forget it, just lie low, wait to die, maybe dying quickly could lead to another time travel.…In the court, the emperor was furious about state affairs, and the courtiers trembled in fear.Xu Yanmiao pretended to listen attentively but was actually focused on browsing the Gossip System.[Wow, the emperor just took in a 16-year-old noblewoman yesterday! A beautiful addition! He’s getting stronger with age! And he was tossing and turning in bed all night but still has such a powerful voice now! Amazing!] [This noblewoman used to be the crown prince’s concubine! And the crown prince even knows how to write passionate love letters!] [Wow wow wow! The crown prince sneaked into the grandpa’s harem… hiss—got intimate while the old emperor was attending court! Do it quickly! Why isn’t there any video…] [Huh? Why is there no sound?]Xu Yanmiao cautiously raised his head and glanced around.[What happened? Why is everyone kneeling? Where’s the emperor?]—The emperor went to catch adultery in the harem.The “imperial exam cheating” bomb finally exploded.Xu Yanmiao couldn’t explain why his handwriting on the exam paper didn’t match his usual handwriting, nor could he answer why he didn’t understand the classics.The evidence prepared by the ousted crown prince of the emperor hit the nail on the head, and his personal bodyguard was ready to drag Xu Yanmiao away to the prison, awaiting execution in the autumn.Xu Yanmiao held onto the gossip that proved his innocence but was in a quandary:How do I explain the source of my information…[Say that I secretly met with the Chief Examiner, the Minister of Rites, three nights before the exam? Impossible, that night, the Minister of Rites was dressed as a woman, spent the night at the General’s Mansion, with the general…]The general’s body shook, and he interjected: “Your Majesty!!!!”“Although the evidence of exam cheating is solid, I believe there’s still something fishy about this. It should be re-investigated! Especially Xu… Xu… Xu Yanmiao’s attire is neat and tidy! Someone who cares so much about their appearance, how could they tarnish their reputation!”The crown prince, who couldn’t hear his thoughts: ??[Also, what’s with saying that the examiner faking yawning and tiredness was intentionally leaving me a gap for cheating? He spent the night before the exam in the pigsty without sleeping, how could he not be tired the next day? But, surprisingly, the Imperial Academy lecturer actually believed in pig’s milk…]The Imperial Academy lecturer’s face went pale, and he burst out: “Your Majesty!!!!”“I… I agree with the General’s words! How could Xu Lang cheat in the exam! He… he… he deliberately drank a glass of pure water before the exam, believing that only good-hearted people can use pure things, such a kind-hearted person, how could he cheat in the exam!”Thinking he had everything under control, the crown prince: ??Xu Yanmiao was deeply moved.[They’re all good people, even if their brains don’t work well, they’re trying their best to find reasons and excuses for me.] [But I really have no way to turn the tables, alas, it’s a pity that I haven’t finished watching the TV series I’ve been following. The old emperor angered the empress last night and got kicked out of the bedchamber, and now I’m going to die before seeing the ending. He seems to be planning to paint his face with ink and pretend to be a cat to cheer up the empress…]“Bang—”The old emperor slammed the table, forcibly interrupting the continuous stream of thoughts: “I believe Xu Yanmiao did not cheat in the exam! Release him, innocent!”The civil and military officials couldn’t wait to echo, fearing that if they were too slow, Xu Yanmiao might spill more gossip.“Yes yes yes! Release him innocent!”“Long live Your Majesty!”“Your Majesty, please end the court session! Let Xu Lang go home and rest! You’ve tired him out by making him stand for so long!”The crown prince: ??Did Xu Yanmiao drug them with hallucinogens or something?