My America - Chapter 32 - : Blatant

A teenager who obtained a life simulator, with the help of the life simulator, went from an inexperienced martial artist to the peak of cultivation, seeking immortals and chasing gods, paving the way for all living beings, and eventually becoming a generation of Taoist ancestors. [Avenue is fifty, Tianyan is forty-nine, escape to one of them! Therefore, everything in the world has a chance of life! ]

Sixteen years old: You broke through the ninth-rank martial artist, in order to deter all the enemies with ulterior motives.

Two hundred years old: You broke the bondage of heaven and earth, opened the body of the gods, and witnessed the way of immortals.

Three hundred years old: You realize the nature of heaven and earth, and prove the way of heaven and immortals.

Seven hundred and eighty-six years old: You have five proofs of the immortal way, one step to the sky, and the position of the monarch.

…

After countless simulations, [You have opened up an immortal path for all sentient beings and are respected as the Taoist ancestor. ]

- Description from novelbuddy

A man is stabbed by a robber on the run after pushing his coworker and his coworker’s new fiance out of the way. As he lays dying, bleeding on the ground, he hears a voice. This voice is strange and interprets his dying regret of being a virgin by giving him the [Great Sage] unique skill! Is he being made fun of ?!

MC: Whoa there, hang on a sec! Don't say anything yet, let me first trick this stupid goddess into giving me more abilities!Some time later (and some psychological abuse)…Aqua: Okay, you win! Pick your skills! And fast!MC: Alright, check this out! I'm snagging〚World Traveling〛and〚Analyze and Copy〛! Sweet deal, right? Hahaha, I'm gonna be unstoppable!

“Come here, little one!” “No way!”

What to do when the wife is angry? The big-shot CEO is filthy rich, showering her with extravagant displays of love every day! Today a luxury car, tomorrow a mansion, the day after a private jet…

In a media interview: “What was the most expensive gift you have given your wife?” “So far, our son!” “You treat your wife so well, she must surely love you!” CEO laughs confidently, “Without a doubt!”

Arriving home, his delicate wife throws a divorce contract at him, “Dongfang Yu, sign this!”

“Hai Xiaotang, all you think about is divorce. Don’t think I can’t handle you!” The CEO, full of fury, cracks his knuckles, “A washboard, an abacus, a keyboard, a durian…choose one!”

“Durian!” The CEO ends up kneeling on the durian with a thud!