Rebirth: General, Don't Mess Around! - Chapter 20: Grateful for Having You

Bad news: Xu Yanmiao traveled back to ancient times, but he himself is lazy and uninterested in anything but internet cybersecurity, which is useless in ancient times.Good news: He’s bound to a system.Bad news: The system is called the Gossip System, not the fortune-telling kind, but the kind that contains other people’s private information and scandals. Utterly useless.More bad news: This system is also glitchy, and the extent of the bugs is unknown.Even more bad news: This body is that of a minor official who can attend court meetings, while Xu, the time traveler… doesn’t understand the classics, can’t write with a brush, and is at risk of being exposed for cheating in the imperial exams.Xu Yanmiao: “…”Forget it, just lie low, wait to die, maybe dying quickly could lead to another time travel.…In the court, the emperor was furious about state affairs, and the courtiers trembled in fear.Xu Yanmiao pretended to listen attentively but was actually focused on browsing the Gossip System.[Wow, the emperor just took in a 16-year-old noblewoman yesterday! A beautiful addition! He’s getting stronger with age! And he was tossing and turning in bed all night but still has such a powerful voice now! Amazing!] [This noblewoman used to be the crown prince’s concubine! And the crown prince even knows how to write passionate love letters!] [Wow wow wow! The crown prince sneaked into the grandpa’s harem… hiss—got intimate while the old emperor was attending court! Do it quickly! Why isn’t there any video…] [Huh? Why is there no sound?]Xu Yanmiao cautiously raised his head and glanced around.[What happened? Why is everyone kneeling? Where’s the emperor?]—The emperor went to catch adultery in the harem.The “imperial exam cheating” bomb finally exploded.Xu Yanmiao couldn’t explain why his handwriting on the exam paper didn’t match his usual handwriting, nor could he answer why he didn’t understand the classics.The evidence prepared by the ousted crown prince of the emperor hit the nail on the head, and his personal bodyguard was ready to drag Xu Yanmiao away to the prison, awaiting execution in the autumn.Xu Yanmiao held onto the gossip that proved his innocence but was in a quandary:How do I explain the source of my information…[Say that I secretly met with the Chief Examiner, the Minister of Rites, three nights before the exam? Impossible, that night, the Minister of Rites was dressed as a woman, spent the night at the General’s Mansion, with the general…]The general’s body shook, and he interjected: “Your Majesty!!!!”“Although the evidence of exam cheating is solid, I believe there’s still something fishy about this. It should be re-investigated! Especially Xu… Xu… Xu Yanmiao’s attire is neat and tidy! Someone who cares so much about their appearance, how could they tarnish their reputation!”The crown prince, who couldn’t hear his thoughts: ??[Also, what’s with saying that the examiner faking yawning and tiredness was intentionally leaving me a gap for cheating? He spent the night before the exam in the pigsty without sleeping, how could he not be tired the next day? But, surprisingly, the Imperial Academy lecturer actually believed in pig’s milk…]The Imperial Academy lecturer’s face went pale, and he burst out: “Your Majesty!!!!”“I… I agree with the General’s words! How could Xu Lang cheat in the exam! He… he… he deliberately drank a glass of pure water before the exam, believing that only good-hearted people can use pure things, such a kind-hearted person, how could he cheat in the exam!”Thinking he had everything under control, the crown prince: ??Xu Yanmiao was deeply moved.[They’re all good people, even if their brains don’t work well, they’re trying their best to find reasons and excuses for me.] [But I really have no way to turn the tables, alas, it’s a pity that I haven’t finished watching the TV series I’ve been following. The old emperor angered the empress last night and got kicked out of the bedchamber, and now I’m going to die before seeing the ending. He seems to be planning to paint his face with ink and pretend to be a cat to cheer up the empress…]“Bang—”The old emperor slammed the table, forcibly interrupting the continuous stream of thoughts: “I believe Xu Yanmiao did not cheat in the exam! Release him, innocent!”The civil and military officials couldn’t wait to echo, fearing that if they were too slow, Xu Yanmiao might spill more gossip.“Yes yes yes! Release him innocent!”“Long live Your Majesty!”“Your Majesty, please end the court session! Let Xu Lang go home and rest! You’ve tired him out by making him stand for so long!”The crown prince: ??Did Xu Yanmiao drug them with hallucinogens or something?

Everyone knows that the popular entertainer Song Linchuan is crazy about his little aunt. Since the beginning of his career, he has mentioned her on various occasions.

During an interview with a reporter, he was asked, “What kind of girl do you find most adorable?”

He replied, “Someone like my little aunt.”

The reporter was puzzled.

During a fan visit, someone asked him, “What are your plans after filming this drama?”

He replied, “I’m going back to see my little aunt.”

The fans were confused.

As people across the internet were curious about Song Linchuan’s mysterious little aunt, he brought her on a lifestyle variety show. When she appeared on camera, everyone was shocked to see that she was just a pretty girl in her late teens.

On the show, the young girl had an old-fashioned way of speaking and manners, despite her young age.

When Song Linchuan was too busy to eat on time, she said sternly, “Your body is your most valuable asset. Don’t neglect to eat on time, or you’ll get stomach problems!”

When he stayed up late playing games, she scolded him, “Young people should enjoy their games in moderation. Staying up late is not good for your health!”

The netizens teased Song Linchuan, but they also agreed with his little aunt’s advice.

At a fashion magazine photo shoot, Song Linchuan’s shirt collar was a bit low. The young girl approached him and said seriously, “As a boy, how can you dress so revealingly?”

The netizens laughed and said, “Haha, his little aunt is correcting him on how to be a man!”

Meanwhile, another popular entertainer, Pei Kuang, visited Song Linchuan’s house while he was filming a lifestyle show. As soon as he entered, Song Linchuan pulled him over to meet his little aunt.

Song Linchuan said, “Pei Kuang, this is my dear little aunt. Don’t just stand there, she’s your little aunt too. Call her!”

Pei Kuang was speechless.

A few years later, paparazzi caught Pei Kuang walking with a girl who looked like Song Linchuan’s little aunt, Song Anan. They looked intimately close, and everyone online called out to Song Linchuan, “Look, your good friend is about to become your little uncle!”

At that time, Song Linchuan was in the middle of filming in the deep mountains and had no idea what was happening.

A certain Xiao wang* embraced her who was in men’s clothing, rolled over onto the ground, not neglecting to kiss her with burning kisses.

She who was going to war on behalf of her brother yelled out, “Wangye*, I am a man! A man! Do you see clearly?”

Wangye acted as if nothing happened, accurately captured two fragrant, soft and sweet lips, one kiss after another: “This wang am recently sexually inclined towards males!” A certain female’s tiny waist was being crushed as she tearfully pled, “Wangye, please spread the rain and dew!”

A certain Xiao wang: “There are many potential lovers to choose from, but this wang only wants one.”

She, Linghu Shui Yue, a military doctor from the modern era, has reincarnated into a stupid sixteen year old girl?

She stupid? Then she’ll stupidly hit Qi* wang! Fortune favors fools! How about changing a husband to play with? What is Qi wang? She heard that You* wang was the world’s most beautiful man! Sleep, of course one must sleep the world’s number one beautiful man! Marry, of course she must marry the man all the women in the world want to marry!

But, isn’t this man too black-bellied? There was no need for her to even think about it for the man voluntarily presented himself at her door and used all sorts of wiles and methods to marry her as consort! There’s a conspiracy! Then come! And see how she sees through the subterfuge and completely demolishes it.

- Description from Novelupdates