You've Got Mail: A Cautionary Tale - Chapter 36 - Staying Up on New Year’s Eve1 (NSFW)

“Who is the football GOAT?”A question that has been asked countless times in the last decade.Is it Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi?To be fair, the question actually depended on what one wanted from a player as they were two different people and they played differently from the other.This was also the case with every other legendary player to grace the game.As a diehard fan of the game, Jason Bolu also had someone he thought to be the goat, but unlike most people, he harbored the desire to not only become as great as them, but even greater than any legend that ever graced the game.He wanted to become the Greatest Of All Legends… the GOAL.Unfortunately, fate has never cared about people’s hopes and dreams, and just like every other unfortunate human, she hit him hard across the face with a broken reality and sent him flying in another direction from his goal, yet he didn’t give up and continually persevered but, in the end, he didn’t ever make it.He wasn’t even halfway near his goal.He thought it was over… but it wasn’t.He got another chance at his dreams, and this time he was going to do more than his best to achieve his dream.

I am Racist.…I mean, my name is Racis T.I was a stand-up comedian. The flop kind. The type who only got laughs when someone else was roasting him.One night, I was doing a gig at a shady, run-down bar—the kind where tattooed bikers drink motor oil for breakfast. I went in with my usual dark humor, but my jokes were getting the same reaction as my dating profile: complete silence.That didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was already starving to death. So I did what any committed comedian would—I went darker.Turns out, one of my jokes (or all of them?) triggered a guy so hard that he pulled a trigger. Headshot. Instant death.But hey, look at this: A guy got triggered, so he pulled the trigger. That’s wordplay. But who cares? I’m dead anyway.All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing, and maybe a few girls swooning over my wit. I never cared about money. The millions I’d have made would have gone to charity—specifically, 0.001% of it. See? I’m generous like that.Anyway, death is death. My story should’ve ended there.But… if there is an afterlife, I had a simple wish: become a successful comedian, find a loving wife, and have just enough money to afford three meals a day… and maybe a humble little private yacht. Or a jet. But that’s it. Because, like I said, I don’t care about money.Unfortunately, wishes don’t work that way.Because, well—there was an afterlife.And it was absolutely not what I wished for.

Procrastinator extraordinaire, Fang Ning, had lost his consciousness after banging his head on a night of celebration. He woke up to a realization that he no longer had control of his body, as a System had taken it over. Will he eventually regain control of his body or will he be trapped in his body forever? How does he maneuver this situation? What’s in store for Fang Ning?

Standing before you are:

Guardian and patron of darkness,

Disruptors and Reshapers of Order,

creator and persecutor of licking dogs,

The tea master, the goddess of the dark night, the nightmares and gravediggers of the gods,

The true ancestor of blood – Charlotte de Castel.

With madness, with blood, with curse, with destruction.

This is a legend belonging to the blood family…

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