175 Like a Marionette

My hand trembled as I watched the petrified black flesh creep across my skin like corrupted veins, only to retreat moments later and dissolve inward. It was like watching a curse repeatedly fail to claim me.

I sighed. Somewhere along the line, I had foolishly hoped that when Exalted Renewal finally ran out, when my experience points were exhausted, I would simply become mortal again. Live on as something simpler. But that was another fantasy the world refused to grant me.

Even if I somehow returned to level one, I could feel it in my marrow that I would die all the same. And if I died the wrong way, I would drag the world back into the curse that was forced on me. Ah. It was so unfair.

What would tomorrow even look like, if I had one at all? There were no more plans. No more schemes. Just duty and the slow, bitter waiting.

Tian En's voice broke the silence.

"Are you truly an acquaintance of Shouquan, Lord Immortal?"

The title made my skin crawl. I understood the reverence, but it still felt wrong.

"Yes."

Her brows furrowed. "What is your motivation behind this massacre, Lord Immortal?"

It was a fair question.

"Because it pisses me off."

She blinked, caught off guard, but I continued.

"The Cleanse. The cultivation world. The cycle. The hypocrisy. All of it. I hate what it's become, and I regret that I can't undo the agreements and blood pacts these ancient organizations cling to. With the way things are going, I probably won't live long enough to change any of it. But if I had the time and the means, I'd fight for something better. I'd keep fighting, every step of the way, because I still believe this world can be better than what it is now."

Tian En looked at me differently then, as though I had suddenly become human.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm going to die," I said. "And I need you to leave."

I gestured toward Yi Qiu, slumped unconscious in a cratered seat, and Shan Dian, lying motionless on the table.

"Take them with you. The Alliance Master and the Union Warlord. Give Shan Dian a proper burial."

My gaze shifted to the sleeping Zai Ai.

"And don't forget her."

After a moment, Tian En nodded. She opened a pocket dimension and carefully stored the bodies with the reverence of someone performing sacred rites.

"One more thing," I said. "Evacuate the people of this city. I can't leave this place, and I fear a fight is coming. A bad one. With a very real, very dangerous Outsider."

I didn't explain the loop or the trap. Those were burdens she didn't need to carry.

"I'll do it," she said. "I should be able to accommodate the entire city in my pocket dimension. It will take some effort, but I can do it."

I handed her a Scroll of Great Teleportation and explained how to use it to escape as far away as possible once the evacuation was complete.

"Now go."

Tian En gave me one last look, full of unasked questions, then vanished.

I finally turned to Tao Long.

He was still kneeling, shoulders heaving, eyes red as he stared at the slaughter I had left behind. His robes were smeared with ash and blood. It was not his own, but it clung to him like guilt. When our eyes met, he rose to his feet. "You monster," he said, his voice cracking. "What was the purpose of this? What did you do, Da Wei? What was the point of this cruelty?"

"They had to die," I said.

The words hung heavily between us.

"They were bad people."

Tao Long's mouth fell open in disbelief, rage simmering beneath the surface. Before he could interrupt, I continued. 𝑓𝘳𝘦𝑒𝑤𝑒𝘣𝘯ℴ𝘷𝘦𝓁.𝑐𝑜𝑚

"I know they were bad, because I literally lived through their memories. Every damned one of them."

Tao Long frowned, confusion briefly cutting through his anger.

"What are you talking about?"

"Divine Possession," I said. "You think I just take control of someone's body and move on? That's not how it works. When I possess someone, I don't just wear their flesh like a disguise. I become entangled with them. Their memories, their emotions, their instincts, their regrets. I see it all."

His expression hardened, but he listened.

"I lived their lives, Tao Long. Not metaphorically. Literally. I saw their childhoods. Their first victories. Their humiliations. Their fears. I watched them fall in love. I watched them lose people they cared about. I felt their ambitions, their insecurities, their desperation. For a brief moment, I was them."

I clenched my jaw.

"And when you've done that hundreds of times, when you've walked through enough minds, you stop seeing people as simple monsters. You start understanding why they became what they are."

Tao Long remained silent.

"I know what drove them. I know the pressures they faced. I know the lies they told themselves to sleep at night. I know the grief they carried and the sacrifices they made. I felt all of it. Every memory. Every justification."

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My voice grew quieter.

"I understood their pain. I understood their humanity."

I looked toward the corpses scattered throughout the ruined hall.

"And I still killed them."

The words hung heavily between us.

"Understanding isn't forgiveness, Tao Long. Knowing someone's story doesn't erase the blood on their hands. It doesn't undo the people they hurt. It doesn't make their choices acceptable."

I shook my head.

"If anything, it made this harder. Because I couldn't pretend they were faceless villains. I knew exactly who they were. I knew the good parts of them. The parts they hid from everyone else. The parts that made them human."

I let out a slow breath.

"But knowing them didn't make them better. It didn't absolve them. It just made me sympathize with the lives they lived."

My gaze met his.

"That's why I can tell myself this had to be done."

Tao Long's face contorted with pain, his confusion slowly transforming into uncertainty. Of course he didn't understand. How could he? From his perspective, I had broken every promise I'd made. I said I'd cooperate with the Ward. I said I'd attend the Summit in pursuit of peace. I said I'd listen.

Instead, I walked into the Summit Hall, possessed an insignificant cultivator, and slaughtered everyone in sight.

I pressed on.

"This is a lesson. Let them fear what happens when they decide to play gods again. Let them hesitate before another Cleanse was comitted. Though you and I both know they probably won't. Powers like these never do. I killed them because the world is better off without them. Like I told Tian En, I'm sick of the cycle. Sick of the silence. Sick of the compromises. If this plants fear where there was once arrogance, then it was worth it."

"Lies," Tao Long growled, his fists trembling. "Supreme Leader of the Ward, Master Shouquan, reveal yourself! This Outsider must be punished!"

However, Shouquan didn't answer. The old man promised to be with us, hiding just out of sight. But I knew better. "I don't think he's with us anymore," I said quietly. "Shouquan is gone. And not merely hiding. Something happened to him. Now neither of us can guard the Arch Gate. Something bad is happening, Tao Long. I can't explain it to you, but it's bad."

Aixin was not done with me, just yet.

I stood, walked to Tao Long, and pulled several folded letters from my Item Box. Carefully, I placed them into his hands. "They're letters. One for Ren Jingyi. One for Gu Jie. One for Lu Gao. One for Ren Xun."

I hesitated.

"The one for Hei Mao stays with me."

I touched the inside of my robe, where the final letter rested over my heart.

"I wrote them on the journey to the Imperial Capital. Back when I thought I might leave this world one day. Maybe even go home. I wanted the people I cared about to have something to remember me by."

My throat tightened.

"I never wrote one for Nongmin or Alice. I didn't know what to say, then."

Tao Long stared at the letters, uncertain what to do with them.

I gripped Tao Long’s shoulder firmly. “Tell Nongmin… fuck him. But I love him.” A faint smirk tugged at my lips as I added, “And tell Alice… if I could, I’d fuck her. Then love her.”

Tao Long let out a long, weary sigh, mercifully sparing me the scolding I deserved.

“Hard to fit a lifetime of emotion into a few words, but we’re not exactly rich on time.” I stepped back and jerked my chin toward the door. “Now go.”

He hesitated, clearly unwilling to leave.

“I said go!”

My shout finally shattered his resolve. With a deafening crack of thunder, Tao Long’s form shimmered and expanded, his body stretching into that of a proud, colossal dragon. He burst through the ceiling in a storm of lightning and swirling clouds, vanishing into the sky without looking back.

“Farewell, Tao Long,” I whispered.

It was almost funny, in a grim sort of way. This was the second time I’d sent him off to run an errand.

I slumped back into my seat, blood drying on my clothes while the scent of ozone and divine steel lingered in the air. I cast my Divine Sense outward, only to be met with silence.

Not a single life stirred within the city. Tian En had finished the evacuation. Even Tao Long was gone. A small part of me hoped I'd never see him again, if only so he wouldn't have to witness what was coming.

Another part of me wished I'd simply die here.

Maybe if I died now, there'd be nothing left for Aixin to collect.

Or maybe I'd wake up. In a hospital bed. On the couch in my apartment. Maybe I'd hear a knock at the door and find Mom returning from the grocery store, ready to scold me for spending too much time gaming.

But I didn't believe in miracles anymore.

At the edge of my Divine Sense, I felt them.

Angels.

The same kind that haunted the Promised Dunes. They were porcelain-faced things with asymmetrical bodies, limbs too long and bent at impossible angles. They never spoke. They simply radiated a sterile dread, like a hospital ward where every patient was already dead and just didn't know it yet.

I opened my eyes.

A figure coalesced before me, woven from divine light.

When the form solidified, I recognized her.

Joan.

Or rather, Aixin wearing Joan.

She stepped forward with a pleasant smile. Her emerald eyes curved with it, creating the illusion of warmth, though there was none. Only cold recognition. Her raiment was silver layered with gold, crafted less for function than spectacle. It wasn't Joan's normal attire.

"Really?" I stood and brushed myself off. "You steal my friend's body and that's the outfit you pick? Who are you trying to impress? Your boss? Your reflection?"

"You've got a mouth," Aixin replied.

"Yeah, and I am good in using it.

The voice was Joan's, but wrong.

A halo rotated lazily above her head, an ever-shifting ring of alien lights. Moments later, a staff materialized in her hand. Its head was fashioned from a massive feather, surrounded by countless drifting motes that looked like stars.

"So enlighten me," I said, drawing Silver Steel from my Item Box. "The time loop. How'd you pull that off? That's some seriously fucked-up Chronomancy."

Aixin raised her staff, not bothering to answer. Golden swords appeared throughout the air. They were divine constructs. Each pulsed with the power of Heavenly Punishment. I recognized that power immediately. If even one struck me, I wouldn't survive unless I was already dying and redirecting the damage.

My usual tricks wouldn't work here.

I took stock of my resources.

Two Spell Slots remained. Three if I forced the Wandering Adjudicator's armor to cast through its innate ability. As a final contingency, I slotted Divine Word: Raise into Spell Resonance. The swords launched.

I cast Castling on instinct, attempting to swap places with Aixin.

The Castling fizzled. It had been blocked and preempted.

I reached through the connection that allowed me to perceive Joan.

"Divine Possession."

My vision fractured, twisted, and reassembled. The next moment, I stood somewhere else. I was inside Joan's memory world. When I opened my eyes, I found myself in Losten, the last bastion of mortal civilization before the Great Enemy arrived. It was a memory, but not a static one. Between my perception, Joan's perception, and Aixin's, time could be stretched into ribbons here. A single day outside might become a century within.

But I couldn't afford to waste time.

My real body remained outside, dangerously exposed.

I summoned Soulful Guiding Fire.

A butterfly of green flame bloomed into existence and fluttered ahead. Its glasslike wings shimmered with fragments of memories I couldn't quite grasp.

I followed the butterfly.

Losten was a ghost town. Just rubble, dust, and the shattered remnants of bastions where proud knights had once stood. This wasn’t how I remembered the city. Slowly, it occurred to me. This wasn’t Joan’s memory at all.

Ahead, a lone figure walked steadily through the ruins. Joan. Not Aixin. Just Joan. She moved forward in her flowing robes, never once looking back.

“Joan!” I shouted, breaking into a run toward her. I swept her with my Divine Sense and froze.

Her body was whole. Her soul was present. But something was terribly wrong. There was no spark in her eyes, no awareness, and no will. She was like an NPC before a player sat down at the keyboard, a hollow puppet awaiting its strings, a script waiting to be executed.

Without warning, Joan stopped dead in her tracks. Her arms snapped straight out to her sides, perfectly horizontal in a flawless T-pose. I stared, dumbfounded. “...What?”

She rotated on her heel with the stiff grace of a broken mannequin and locked onto me, her vacant eyes meeting mine. Then she began moving. Not walking, not running, but gliding silently across the rubble, arms still rigidly extended, heading straight for me.

For one long, disbelieving second, my brain refused to process the absurdity. Then raw survival instinct took over.

“Oh, hell no.”

I spun around and ran.