After rebirth, I rejected the rich yandere lady-Chapter 903 - 372 Yao Mingyue: Unfortunately, Never Got to See His Gray Hair. (Important Subscription Chapter!) _2

"Do you remember, after my junior year in our past life, when I suddenly left for three years?"

"I remember."

Xu Musen nodded; he had always remembered. Although their university days had been somewhat awkward, it was clear they were gradually moving towards an actual couple's relationship.

Yao Mingyue had also promised him that they would get married after they graduated.

But before graduation came, Yao Mingyue vanished without a trace, and Liu Rushuang didn't reveal anything, resulting in a separation of three long years.

Xu Musen looked at Yao Mingyue, "So, during those three years, did you choose to undergo the surgery alone?"

"Mmm… I'm sorry for making you wait three years, and don't blame my mom; I told her not to tell anyone."

Yao Mingyue's eyes misted over, the burden she must have faced alone as she prepared to face death.

At that time, Xu Musen was just an ordinary college student and his parents' business was just getting back on its feet; they couldn't have withstood such a blow. It was better for her to bear it all alone.

"I don't blame Auntie, and I don't blame you. I'm just sad because I feel like I've never really helped you or your family with anything from childhood till now. Instead, you always consider me, making me feel like I'm very selfish."

Xu Musen took a deep breath, his self-mocking words reflecting how Yao Mingyue's disappearance had also been a significant blow to him; the love of his life had suddenly left without a word.

Especially after knowing the reason she left, he felt even more suffocated, even though he was powerless to change anything. But at least, he could have shared some of the sorrow; however, his despondent childhood friend seemed unable to help with anything or change any situation.

"Who says that!"

Yao Mingyue suddenly became agitated, her slightly cold hand gently touched Xu Musen's cheek, "Haven't you done everything in your power to protect your Sister Mingyue?"

Yao Mingyue gently caressed his cheek, her reddened eyes glistening, "Not everyone needs to be a world-saving hero. I don't like such people. I only remember following you, you would always give me the first bite of food, save your pocket money to buy me gifts, and when we got home you would warm my feet with your belly… To me, you are my very own superhero! Hmph, and even Nuannuan can't compare to that!"

Yao Mingyue squinted her eyes, her face beaming with proud joy, as if showing off her heroic childhood friend, which was a joy that belonged to her alone in the whole world.

"Complimenting me so well, you're actually trying to keep me from feeling guilty, aren't you? The more you do this, the more selfish I seem."

Xu Musen looked into her warm and proud eyes, warming him like the sun, unbothered by the cold outside.

"If anyone is selfish… it's me."

Yao Mingyue leaned softly against his shoulder, "I originally thought I could bear all the consequences alone. But when I was truly lying on the operating table, when I almost didn't make it off, I realized I'm not that strong, not that great...

Truly, Musen, at that moment I almost didn't have the chance to come back to you."

Yao Mingyue and Xu Musen held hands even tighter, as if they would never catch each other again if they let go.

Her whole body trembled.

"So, after that time, my inner struggles grew even bigger, I became more afraid of losing you. This fear made my desire to control even stronger… but I know my body, it's hard to say whether I can spend my old age with you, and I might not be able to have our children... So, the more I fear, the more I want to control, the more I acquire of you, the less I can bear the thought of potentially losing you in the future..."

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Yao Mingyue spoke, her voice unable to hide the bitterness and trembling.

She knew, even if there hadn't been that car accident in her past life, it would have been hard for her and Xu Musen to grow old together.

And about the issue of having children, it's not something anyone can simply ignore; she was also in pain, not fearing that a child would steal Xu Musen's love from her, but fearing that if Xu Musen knew she couldn't have children… it would definitely add more pressure on him.