Days as a Spiritual Mentor in American Comics-Chapter 4439 - 3525: Research on Cats and Dogs (36)

The topic of intimacy between two people never grows old, because there is simply so much to explore within it. Even with all the knowledge from psychology and sociology, it would still be impossible to cover every situation.

But one striking pattern is that within an emotional relationship between two people, there will always be a distinction between the strong and the weak. One person is strong, and the other is inevitably weak. Either the east wind overwhelms the west wind, or the west wind overwhelms the east wind.

Although many people have long understood this pattern and believe they can position themselves as the stronger party, in reality, despite exhausting every tactic, they often end up as the weaker side.

Whether you search online or read books related to emotions, you can find countless methods being taught on how to become the stronger party. This is because the benefits of being the stronger party are numerous.

When you are strong, the situation is entirely under your control, and you can act as you please. The other person will always stick to you, and you have ample ways to ensure their loyalty.

However, in practice, these methods aren't as effective as they seem. Minor tricks and ploys, if not backed by core strength, are ultimately nothing more than rootless duckweed, becoming a laughingstock.

The key to the strong-weak dynamic in relationships lies in the ability to control one's emotions. To put it bluntly, the one who loves less will always win.

People who are prone to emotional outbursts can never become the dominant party in a relationship. The richer their emotions, the more they are suppressed.

Conversely, the more detached and cold-hearted one is, the more they find themselves in control in a relationship.

Yet, whether one is emotional or sufficiently cold-hearted is generally innate and cannot be changed through tricks or techniques.

At its core, the principle can be condensed into a single point. As Charles controlling Injustice Superman once said, "The measurement standard" is a critical component.

Everyone has a scale in their heart. How you evaluate someone determines your attitude towards them.

If someone makes you feel disgusted but offers some benefits, you might greet them with a smile. If someone has no disputes with you and you simply enjoy their company, you might face them with a cheerful attitude.

If your preferences and dislikes are too transparent, people can deduce patterns from them. Whether you like a certain type of person, whether I am that type, and what I need to do for you to like or dislike me—these can all be gleaned through observation.

This allows others to feel confident when interacting with you, granting them a sense of security and emotional stability.

But some people don't operate this way. They intentionally hide the standards by which they measure others.

They may seem to greet certain people with a smile while quietly harming their interests, or appear indifferent to others while secretly supporting them.

It sounds almost pathological, like a clash between the left and right brain, or a battle between the left and right hand.

But in most cases, that's not the reality. They act this way to ensure others cannot understand them, cannot discern their preferences and aversions.

When you don't know what kind of person they like, you can't cater to their preferences. When you need to please them, you're left powerless, fumbling like a headless fly.

Why do people, who generally enjoy being pleased, act this way?

In truth, this behavior enables them to maintain the upper hand in a two-person emotional dynamic.

Because you don't know what their measurement standards are, you don't know what position you hold in their eyes. In the pursuit of understanding these standards, to verify your standing, you repeatedly conduct experiments.

The less you understand, the more curious you become. Curiosity killed the cat.

This brings us to "attention theory." The more you focus on someone, the greater their influence over you, and the easier it becomes to manipulate and control you.

By hiding their measurement standards, they are, at their core, seeking attention. This prompts people to actively explore them, focus on them voluntarily, achieving their goal of manipulation.

In a pure emotional relationship, you can choose to remain ignorant, define this person as "eccentric," and simply walk away.

But once interests are involved, the matter becomes a hundred times more complicated. Even in non-binding social relationships like family, extricating yourself is far from easy—let alone situations with complex interest entanglements.

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When encountering such people, in the course of interacting with them, you are forced to expend significant energy trying to understand them, inevitably being manipulated and drained in the process.

As for solutions, there's probably only one: if you can't beat them, join them.

Make yourself equally eccentric—what might be called the hedgehog strategy. While a hedgehog is not particularly strong, it can at least retaliate before being eaten, unlike an ostrich burying its head in the sand.

Unfortunately, most people can't even achieve this. As always, emotion control is largely innate. Some people are overly emotional and cannot master the art of masking their feelings, leaving them to suffer setback after setback.

In most Superman and Batman dynamics, Batman is usually the harder one to decipher. Superman, driven by curiosity, spends considerable effort trying to understand Batman.

It's not that Superman lacks emotional self-control, but his curiosity is too intense. Walking by the river often, you are bound to get wet shoes. Walk dark roads enough, and you will eventually meet Batman.

But in the dynamics of Injustice Superman and Injustice Batman, Batman made a critical error: he exposed one of his measurement standards.