I'm the Crazy One in the Family-Chapter 69: Stop—Are You Pulling a Fast One on Me?

Keter clapped his hands.

Clap, clap, clap!

“That’s me, Keter the Solver. I command someone like him.”

Gyro’s overwhelming energy vanished as if it were never there. frёeweɓηovel.coɱ

Returning to his drunken, disheveled self, Gyro took a sip from his drink and said, “You’ve barely used me for anything. It was exciting at first, but nowadays, I’m starting to question my purpose. Hahaha.”

“You’re mostly decorative at this point. But your mere presence is reassuring,” Keter replied.

“All is good as long as you keep the drinks coming. This is the only thing that can get me drunk now.”

Gyro tossed the empty bottle, which splashed the remaining liquid onto the ground. Luke, still shaken from the earlier display of Gyro’s power, witnessed something horrifying. A rat scurried over, sniffed at the spilled alcohol, and immediately convulsed, spewing blood before collapsing.

“Ugh...”

Luke’s legs gave out; he could no longer stand.

Keter noticed that Luke’s mental limits had been reached. He was tempted to push further to accelerate his growth, but he still had business to do with Gyro.

“Gyro, let’s grab a meal. It’s on me.”

“Can’t say no to free food.”

Keter lightly tapped Luke’s shoulder to snap him back to his senses before taking the lead.

A little later, they arrived at Joyray’s Tavern, one of Keter’s usuals. The moment they entered, the patrons began murmuring among themselves.

“Keter and Gyro, the Demon Swordsman, are sitting together?”

“Now that you mention it, wasn’t some knight wandering around looking for Keter recently? Rumor has it they both disappeared and went outside...”

“Why would Keter be here if he was able to leave? That knight probably disappeared because he got killed.”

The patrons whispered amongst themselves, some quickly leaving to avoid getting caught in trouble.

“Haha! No matter how skilled Keter is, there’s no leaving Liqueur. Even that Lillian woman wouldn’t manage it!” said a drunk man, chuckling, but no one joined in his laughter.

The atmosphere of the tavern turned icy. Several men rose from their seats, weapons drawn.

“Did you just insult Her Majesty?”

“You crazy fool. Get on your knees and apologize in Her Majesty’s direction immediately.”

These men who were threatening the drunkard weren’t knights, nor did they come together. Yet they sprang up like lunatics to defend the queen’s honor. Realizing his mistake, the drunkard quickly fell to his knees, bowing northward.

“I-I apologize, Your Majesty. Please forgive this ignorant fool for his slip of the tongue!”

Satisfied, the men returned to their seats, though they continued to glare at the drunkard.

When the drunkard sobered up and nervously left the tavern, the ones who glared at him followed him out.

“If you’re done gawking, order something, you worthless scum!” shouted Joyray.

Keter raised his hand.

“Captain! The usual!”

Joyray, wearing an eyepatch over one eye, approached Keter’s table.

“Hey, Keter. Where have you been for the last four days? Don’t tell me you actually went outside Liqueur?”

“Why, Captain, you wanna leave, too? Join me as my underling, and I’ll take you out.”

“Ha! You’re kidding. Looks like that knight who came looking for you paid you a hefty sum. From now on, your meal costs ten times more.”

“Oh, so you’re gonna bleed your savior dry now, huh?”

“Do you have any idea how many rules I broke just to feed you when you were still a baby? You’re telling me I can’t milk you a little in return?”

“Anyone overhearing this would think you fed me for free! I paid for all of it!”

“I’ve told you a million times, I only charged you for the ingredients!”

The two grabbed each other by the collar, growling like dogs ready to pounce.

Gyro saw Luke beginning to look uneasy, so he tried to reassure him by saying, “They’re definitely fighting, so just sit back and watch.”

“Uh, excuse me, I have a question,” Luke ventured hesitantly.

“I’ll listen until the food arrives,” Gyro replied.

“Why did those people get so worked up earlier when someone mentioned the queen? I mean, I like her too, but it was just a joke.”

“Ha! A question like that? Now I see why Keter keeps you around. Why did they get so worked up? You’ve got it wrong—it’s strange for someone not to get worked up.”

“Huh? But most of the people here didn’t react, did they?”

“That’s because this is Liqueur. Plenty of people here haven’t even experienced Lillian’s blessing. And even for those who have, the curse of this place weakens its effects significantly.”

“I... don’t follow at all.”

“That’s normal. Not knowing is... well, what’s normal for most.”

Gyro fell silent, as if explaining further was meaningless. Luke decided to think it over himself.

“By any chance, is the blessing you’re talking about the one given every January during the New Year Festival by the queen?”

“Look at you, making deductions.”

“Uh, I don’t think it’s much of a deduction...”

“Judging by your looks, it’s clear you weren’t born in the Lillian Kingdom.”

“I don’t fully understand, but isn’t the queen’s blessing on New Year’s Day a good thing?”

On the first day of January, every city in the kingdom celebrated with a grand festival, accompanied by the queen’s blessing.

The citizens eagerly awaited this annual event, as Lillian’s blessing bestowed numerous beneficial effects: libido and pleasure sensitivity increased tenfold, pregnancy was prevented without any need for contraception, mental clarity was improved along with physical stamina, minor injuries were completely healed and severe wounds significantly improved. Even after the festival, the effects lingered for a time before gradually fading.

Lillian’s blessing was truly divine, with no side effects or price to pay. There was no reason to skip it, and every citizen looked forward to the first day of the year.

However, there was one place in the kingdom where the festival was never held—Liqueur.

Lowering his voice, Gyro spoke in an unusually serious tone, “Lillian’s blessing is an invisible curse, a poison. Once you’ve experienced it, you’re bound to her. It’s not loyalty or hypnosis—it’s something different. You can’t say this to anyone. Normally, the moment someone hears this, they would report me to the guards, calling me a traitor. How do you feel about me now? Do you feel like reporting me?”

Luke’s eyes trembled. When Gyro said that Lillian’s blessing was a toxic curse, an overwhelming urge to kill him welled up inside Luke. He felt compelled to stop him.

How dare he slander Queen Lillian? She was the kingdom’s founder and the mother of all her people. Without her, none of them would even exist. That alone made her worthy of veneration, and yet she personally bestowed blessings upon her people.

To call that a curse and belittle her—Luke simply couldn’t tolerate it.

“Was that too much for him?”

Sensing Luke’s killing intent, Gyro raised his fist, ready to knock him out.

Smack!

But Keter beat him to it, striking the back of Luke’s head. Luke collapsed onto the table, unconscious.

* * *

“This is the only way now. I’m sorry. Don’t forgive me.”

Luke had a dream. Though her voice and appearance were blurry, he could tell she was crying. She kissed his forehead—gentle and warm—and laid him down. He was very small. He grew farther and farther from her. She wasn’t the one leaving; he was drifting away from her.

Smack!

“Ugh!”

The cold sensation on his face jolted Luke awake.

“Stop sleeping and eat,” Keter said.

“Mmmph!?”

Keter shoved bread into Luke’s mouth. Though Luke initially resisted, the sweet and tangy flavor on his tongue quickly captivated him.

“Mmm... mmh? Mmm...”

Luke chewed as he looked around. After swallowing, he turned to Keter.

“What happened? Why did I pass out? I remember arriving here and sitting down, but after that, it’s all blank. And that strange dream...”

“I don’t know,” Keter replied.

“Newcomers in Liqueur always end up fainting once for some mysterious reason,” Gyro said, chuckling with a sly grin.

Resting his greatsword on his shoulder, he handed Luke an apple pie.

Taking the pie, Luke blinked at Gyro.

“I feel like we were discussing something important earlier, Mr. Gyro.”

“No need for formalities with me,” Gyro said.

“Um...”

Luke hesitated, realizing that even calling him his superior was too formal. After some thought, he cautiously asked, “Can I call you... uncle?”

“Do as you like.”

“Uncle Gyro, why did I faint? Please tell me.”

“You’re not ready to know,” Gyro said flatly.

“What?”

“When the time comes, you’ll figure it out yourself. I won’t need to tell you. That’s when your misfortune will truly begin. Ha!”

Gyro resumed eating. The table was already piled with empty dishes—at least enough for ten people—devoured by Gyro and Keter alone. Yet, there was still plenty of food left.

Growl.

Starving, Luke started eating in earnest, beginning with the apple pie.

Keter glanced at Luke and shifted to sit beside Gyro.

“Gyro, write me a recommendation letter,” Keter said, handing him a paper and pen.

Gyro shook his head. “I already wrote one, just in case. I didn’t think I would actually have to give it to you.”

He pulled out a crumpled piece of parchment. Despite its shabby state and faint odor, the contents and signature were genuine.

Gyro pricked his finger with his nail, letting a drop of blood flow onto the parchment. He wrote Keter’s name with the blood, and as he signed, the blood seeped into the parchment and left a glowing mark.

“Here. But what do you plan to use it for? Isn’t it impossible to leave Liqueur anyway?”

Keter took the letter and picked up a mug filled with dark beer.

“I can leave. That’s why I was gone for four days—I was outside and came back. The letter is for entering the Sword of the South Tournament as an independent participant.”

“If anyone else said it, I would doubt them, but it must be true if you’re saying that. Still, entering the Sword of the South Tournament? You really are an oddball.”

The two clinked mugs and downed their beer in one gulp.

“Do you also want to catch Lillian’s eye?” Gyro asked.

Competing in the Sword of the South Tournament was essentially a challenge for the title of the kingdom’s greatest swordsman. The kingdom’s greatest swordsman was a hero who represented the nation and received the queen’s favor. The title granted the winner an audience with the queen and the right to receive her blessing.

Most participants entered the tournament dreaming of that audience. As far as Gyro knew, Keter had never experienced Lillian’s blessing. But not having experienced it didn’t mean Keter would dislike the queen. Lillian was not only the sole queen among the continent’s rulers but also a symbol of beauty. Every man was naturally drawn to her.

Tearing into a chicken leg, Keter said, “Becoming the kingdom’s greatest swordsman sounds fun. I’d get to see that bitch Lillian’s face up close, right?”

“You want to see Lillian?”

“Can’t kill her without seeing her first.”

“...What?”

Gyro doubted his ears.

Kill the queen? And saying it so nonchalantly, like it was nothing?

“What did you just say? Say it again.”

“I said I’ll kill Lillian.”

“...Ha?”

Lillian’s frightening aspect wasn’t just limited to her “blessing.” Even those who hadn’t experienced it were captivated merely by knowing of her existence. Men, in particular, were heavily influenced just by seeing statues or paintings of Lillian, even without her blessing. Any man who was aware of Lillian and had seen her indirectly never harbored ill will toward her.

Until today, Gyro had never encountered anyone who openly declared their intent to kill the queen, even as a joke.

“Boss, have you never seen a portrait or statue of Lillian?”

“What’s your point, Gyro?”

“That comment about killing the queen; are you serious?”

“Why? Are you interested too?”

“What’s your reason for wanting her dead?”

“When have you ever seen me kill someone with a reason?”

“I’ve also never seen you kill someone without one.”

“Sharp observation.”

Keter raised his hand to call the waiter.

“One whole roasted pig, please!”

“Right away, sir!” Joyray said, accepting a one thousand-gold note from Keter with a grin.

“Boss, I need you to tell me,” Gyro insisted, his tone firm.

Propping his chin on his hand, Keter replied, “She picked a fight with me first.”

“...”

“So, I’ll kill that bitch too.”

“That’s absurd. No one can survive her wrath—not even here in Liqueur.”

“True. I did die once, though not by her directly.”

“Are you saying you died and came back to life?”

“Yeah.”

“If that’s true, why are you telling me this? If resurrection really exists, it is a power comparable to that of the gods.”

“What would someone like me, who rivals a god, have to fear?”

Gyro looked like he’d been struck across the face.

“Haha! Fair enough. If you can come back to life, what is there to fear?”

Despite his hearty laugh, Gyro was feeling the complete opposite. He knew Keter never lied, but he was telling him that he had been defeated by Lillian, came back to life, and now was seeking revenge. Gyro usually believed everything Keter said, but this seemed impossible to believe.

“Now it’s my turn,” Keter said. “Do you think you could kill Lillian with that Demon Sword of yours?”

“I never said I intended to kill Lillian,” Gyro replied firmly, knowing Keter’s habit of testing people.

“Don’t give me that look like you’ll only answer after I hear your story; I already know it. One day, you learned the truth about this kingdom and shared it with someone you trusted, but your entire family was destroyed as a result. You were the sole survivor, and you want revenge, but you’re too weak on your own, so you turned to the Demon Sword. Am I wrong?” Keter said.

“...You simplify my life far too easily.”

“As your boss, let me give you some good advice: a Demon Sword won’t even be able to kill one of the Four Lords.”

“You’re certain. You must have seen other wielders of Demon Swords, but was the one you saw awakened?”

“Awakened? What’s that?”

Gyro stared at Keter, astonished. He told the truth so easily and admitted what he didn’t know without hesitation. Gyro was sure that he was one of a kind.

Knowledge about the awakening of a demon weapon was so rare that only a select few out of those familiar with demon artifacts knew of it. Gyro himself had scoured the world, facing countless near-death situations, to uncover this secret. He was confident the information was worth at least ten million gold.

“Boss, how much do you actually know about demon weapons?”

Gyro decided to share his information, not out of generosity, but because he suspected Keter might hold the key to awakening them.

Keter responded by extending his right arm, which transformed in the blink of an eye into a jet-black bow.

It was Demon Bow Amaranth. Gyro’s eyes widened in shock.

“A Demon Sword... no, it’s a Demon Bow. I’ve never seen a cursed weapon in the form of a bow before.”

Keter brought back Amaranth with a shrug.

“Even though I own it, I don’t care much about it, so I don’t know much.”

“Then allow me to enlighten you. I’ll tell you the truth about cursed armory and their true power.”

Cursed armory could take over someone’s mind even through mere mention. Explaining their details would intensify their corrupting influence.

But it wasn’t a concern here. From the moment the discussion about Lillian began, Keter had put up a mana barrier, ensuring their conversation wouldn’t leak out. With this safety in place, Gyro could speak freely.

“I agree with what you said about a Demon Sword not being able to kill one of the Four Lords. But that’s only true if the Demon Sword’s restrictions haven’t been lifted.”