Love Affairs in Melbourne-Chapter 36 - 35 Is There Anything Else?

Yi’s emotions were like this, but Yan Yan’s emotions were even harder to express in words.

So much so that she couldn’t even taste the spiciness of the super hot Peri-Peri grilled chicken anymore.

Yi would always tell Yan Yan that she performed extraordinarily well during major exams.

What Yi said was true.

But Yan Yan didn’t feel the same way, as she always thought that an exam was just an exam, without distinguishing between important and unimportant ones.

If there had to be a difference, it was that during significant exams, Yan Yan would be more careful.

After finishing the questions, she would check her answers twice before handing in the paper, reclaiming the points she would otherwise lose due to carelessness.

Outstanding performance was a situation that existed only in comparison with others.

As for herself, how could there be anything beyond normal?

You are still you, with one single result. Whether it’s good or bad, it’s your result. How could there be extraordinary or subpar performance? At most, it’s just about adapting to the exam questions of the day.

To be honest, it’s not subpar performance if you suddenly can’t do something in an important exam that you know you can do. It’s about not having adjusted your mind to the state needed for the exam.

A poor psychological quality, leading to bad performance, fundamentally stems from improper preparation before the exam.

People with poor psychological quality shouldn’t spend time on revisions before the exam; instead, they should spend time on mental preparation.

Some people’s stress is self-imposed, while others’ stress comes from family or friends.

Of course, the relationship between psychology and performance is actually a paradox.

Parents who seek psychological counseling for their children with poor psychological quality generally don’t put too much pressure on their children.

Students who seek help from a psychologist themselves usually don’t have unresolved excessive psychological stress.

But such students and parents are in the minority.

Then there are other lucky individuals whose psychological quality is especially strong because they have been surrounded by love since childhood.

Whether it’s significant or trivial matters, these lucky folks have many family members and friends to help alleviate their stress.

However, the strong psychological resilience of most people is honed by life.

With more setbacks experienced, it becomes natural not to be confounded by every little thing.

Yan Yan developed a more mature mindset and stronger psychological resilience than her peers because from a young age, she was "polished" by experiences.

However, strong psychological resilience doesn’t mean strong capability to love.

In fact, the ability to love and the quality of psychological resilience have causes that could be said to run counter to each other. freēnovelkiss.com

The more one loves, the poorer one’s capacity to love becomes.

This is why so many people can’t forget their first love and feel they will never love like that again.

But actually, if years later they meet their first love again, most people become even more clueless about how to love.

When Yan Yan wrote "Tombstone Inscription," she intended to pay tribute to "the beginning that ended before it could blossom into love amidst beautiful scenes."

However, emotions aren’t something that can truly be buried just by paying tribute to them.

Yi apologized to Yan Yan for not being able to accompany her to the tram restaurant, but Yan Yan knew that not being able to go to the restaurant wasn’t the real meaning behind his apology.

When Yi and Yan Yan were together, Yi always felt like Yan Yan was his psychologist.

Yan Yan always understood Yi better than he understood himself. Problems that Yi couldn’t figure out would become clear to him once he wrote them in letters intended for Yan Yan the next day.

She had a sharp ability to grasp the implied meanings and the hints in Yi’s words.

Of course, these issues didn’t include academic ones.

Solving academic problems still had to be left to Yi.

Yan Yan knew that Yi’s recent apology was because she had come unannounced yesterday, not because she had left unannounced today.

There were too many future issues that Yan Yan hadn’t had the chance to think about yet.

Yan Yan had no reason not to believe that Yi came specifically for her.

What then? After believing, what comes next?

Could one grasp love instinctively a few years after not understanding it at seventeen?

What is love? Is it about meeting the right person at the right time and place?

If Yi was the right person, then where were the right time and place?

Yan Yan was a bit more mature than her peers in mentality, and essentially, that so-called maturity was just about being more composed.

While others felt they were facing something significant, Yan Yan could always stay calm.

But Yi’s sudden arrival made Yan Yan’s composure disappear without trace.

Yan Yan didn’t know what to say, and led Yi in silence to the Victorian State Library.

"Do you want to look at some math books? I need to ask where they are as I’ve never looked for them before," Yan Yan prepared to ask the library staff.

"Why would I look at math books? I want to look at old newspapers," Yi responded.

"Huh? What research are you doing now? Does a Melbourne newspaper have the data you need?" Yan Yan was a bit puzzled.

"Yes. When did you come to Melbourne?" Yi asked Yan Yan.

"July 20, 2008, I think," Yan Yan answered after some thought.

"Then let’s find the Melbourne newspapers from July 20, 2008," Yi specified the place and the "books" he wanted to find.

"Huh? Why are you looking for that?" Yan Yan was somewhat baffled.

"I want to see how the weather was in Melbourne that day, what happened, and what the city you live in was like when I wasn’t there," Yi stopped walking and looked into Yan Yan’s eyes as he spoke.

At the State Library, many people came to read books, but very few came to read old newspapers.

At that moment, the old newspaper area had only Yi and Yan Yan.

"Am I seeing a fake Yi now?" Yan Yan felt like escaping, but couldn’t evade Yi’s gaze.

"Authentic without a doubt," Yi stood right in front of Yan Yan, leaving her no chance to escape.

"Yi, honestly, seeing you this time in Melbourne, I don’t know whether I should say sorry or thank you," Yan Yan finally looked up at Yi.

Some things had to be said eventually, some issues had to be confronted.

Sometimes, between being sorry and deserving, between being good for you and tormenting you, there’s no clear boundary.

"I hope you tell me sorry," Yi looked at Yan Yan with eyes full of deep emotion and anticipation.

"Are you sure, absolutely sure, and definitely sure? You hope to hear me say sorry to you without considering the consequences?" Yan Yan looked at Yi with her soothing eyes.

"Sure, absolutely sure, and definitely sure," Yi didn’t avoid it at all.