SEX WITH MY BEST FRIEND'S FIANCÉ-Chapter 166

- KILLIAN -

What did I expect?

I step harder on the throttle, speeding as fast as I can.

Why did I bother to aid her and meddle with her business with S? I should’ve just left. I should’ve waited somewhere I wouldn’t have interfered till she was done doing her thing.

My fists clench on the steering wheel. I’m manoeuvring through every vehicle on the road, switching lanes constantly, as reckless as it sounds on high speed. I’m trying not to think yet everything my mind is trying to avoid replays in my head.

But if I left her alone, the chances of her giving up before it even ending would’ve been high.

My jaw clenches. The image of Asami’s torso flashes in my head again. The scars. I shut my eyes tight, then open them again, keeping them on the road. The bruises. Every single sewn stitch.

She took pride in her appearance and wellbeing. She took pride in having flawless, soft skin despite her line of work. I ruined that for her.

My fingers begin to feel sore and my body is having a crazy amount of angry adrenaline rush which I’m enforcing on my driving but I can’t seem to care.

Know what bothers me about this? I was overly engrossed in keeping my distance and ensuring Hazel is safe that I completely ignored the fact that Asami was a big part of my life. She played a major role in helping me escape an abyss after my parents’ death. She was not well liked by my family; Natalie and Liam, but she stuck by me. That lady has seen worse days staying by my side yet I manage to discard everything because of something she did to me.

I let out a sigh.

She ruined whatever we had with her own hands, that is something we both agree on, and every chance of there ever being an ‘us’ is gone, but do I have to treat her like she’s an infection? Don’t I know her well enough to understand how it’ll make her feel?

I know for a fact that I did know her. I won’t say much as to now, but does my boundary keeping actually render me to physically assault her? Without any form of remorse.

How can I possibly abhor her for doing less harm than I did to her to someone I care about? Isn’t that hypocrisy?

Speeding this much can lead to a fatal accident. I know that but I’m not stopping. Driving this recklessly can put cops on my tail. I am very much aware of that but I’m not halting. I need to get to my favourite spot for a quiet time to clear my head. I need to think.

I may hate everything regarding my interactions and business with Asami but that doesn’t make her any less of a person. I don’t treat Owen that way. He gets under my skin too and he murdered two of my men! Yet he’s got my respect. ƒreewebηoveℓ.com

I slow down when the hill of my destination comes in sight. I pull my car over when I arrive there, getting out immediately.

Owen and Asami are different but how different are the circumstances that brought us apart? Why do I let Asami get under my skin so much that I chose to harm her? Not once. I wanted to do it again. I’ve threatened her life countless times yet I want her to stay away from the lady I’m in love with.

Isn’t it an established unsaid law to go after the weak point of your enemy if you can’t penetrate the said enemy directly no matter the means? Why then do I act so violently when she does it? I’ve done it before. Not out of jealousy or unrequited love but to bring down empires. I let out a sigh. Having a cigarette side by side my zippo would do me good about now. I feel like I’m going mad.

No living being should have that many sores. No living being should suffer that much. I know better than anyone how badly her life has been yet I’m hurting her more than anyone else. She used to be someone I loved. She used to be all I ever wanted. She used to be someone I’d willingly die for, so why?

Why am I doing this?

There are so many other ways.

I swallow. Standing on a hill alone really gives me a lot to think about. I’m being a dick. Normally, I’d laugh the pain off but there’s nothing funny about this. I know the intention I had when going to meet her. I know what I wanted to do to her. . .

If not for the assassin obstruction, I’d have tortured Asami till she begged for death, but even then, death would be too merciful. That’s what I had in mind. Hazel didn’t open up to me so I took initiative and hacked into her phone. The anger surging through my body when I read every single message they shared sprung the murderous intent to life. And I was going to go ahead with it half way.

Imagine being in so much pain that you wouldn’t notice a nose bleed? Imagine trying to be strong even while having a fresh wound? I saw her bleeding when I took my gun off. I just didn’t care. Now I feel like shit.

I take the zippo out my pocket. And even after all that, after she revealed her health condition to me, I yelled at her to leave. I did that because I was angry at myself. After killing a few people, my resolve quenched a bit and all I wanted to do in my car was threaten her, again.

She was frightened of me.

Why am I faced with so much regret? Part of me always accepted that she deserved my harsh treatment until today. Maybe just for a little bit, I became too harsh. I plan to stop that.

From now on, need it be, I pledge never to physically violate Asami. Physically. . . And emotionally? I don’t know about that. And verbally. I wouldn’t assault her in any way again. Even when she gets on my last nerve, I’ll handle her like I handle every other woman. Respectfully.

And if. . . If it does happen that she needs to be taught a lesson, I’ll do so accordingly or I’ll send Liam to do it. Or Natalie. It’ll be best if I don’t get myself involved. It’ll also be best to inform both of them of what to and what not to do if in such a case, I leave Asami to their care.

I don’t want to be the man driven to hurt someone who once moulded me. I won’t be the one to break someone who healed me.

I take a deep breath. I’m staring at the zippo in my hand. I light it by flicking a finger on the flint wheel. I hold my wrist on top of the flame, burning myself.

I guess this is a representation of the validation of my pledge. I’ll use this to remind myself of it.