Standing Next To You-Chapter 269: Not a good mother

Her personal butler arrived with the head maid and the head butler, rushing to her aid. But Lin Sunji pushed them away. "Why are you treating me like this?!" she screamed like a madwoman.

Li Mei couldn’t bear to witness her daughter in such distress. She turned her back on her and walked toward the quiet Lin Sanju. "Let’s go to the dining area. Your sister will join us later."

"Mom!" Lin Sunji attempted to reach Li Mei, but the servants blocked her path. Lin Sunji glared at them, then cast a tearful gaze at her mother’s back.

Echoes of Bei Sangyun’s words resonated in her mind.

"You’re useless now..."

Was her mother treating her this way because she was deemed useless now?

"Young Miss, please try to calm down. A hot shower and tending to your wounds will help you feel better. You can join them in the dining area once you’ve settled down. The Madame didn’t intend to force you upstairs; you’ll understand her reasons once you’ve calmed down," her personal butler advised carefully.

Lin Sunji detested receiving advice, especially on this day. "Don’t presume to lecture me as if you have the right!" She wiped her tears and turned back angrily. "Don’t touch me. I can manage on my own."

The servants stepped back as Lin Sunji ascended the stairs.

Upon reaching her room, she locked the door and collapsed onto her bed. There, the tears she hadn’t yet shed flowed freely. She cried louder than before.

The comfort she sought was denied to her, replaced by another heartache.

How could her mother, who had always been by her side, treat her this way?

Was it because she was no longer the heir, the hope of their branch? Was she no longer the cherished daughter of the family?

Suddenly, Lin Sunji recalled Bei Sangyun’s words. They echoed in her mind with newfound clarity.

’....Consider your situation, Lin Sunji. Your brother is a better leader than you, and I’m pretty sure your parents will see that. ...So if I were you, I’d be incredibly nervous and do everything I could for my family to recognize my worth. After all, you’re useless now.’

Lin Sunji cried harder. Each of Bei Sangyun’s words struck a painful chord, deepening her wounds.

The one who had once been considered useless—Lin Sanju—had now become the family’s hope, while the once treasured heir of their branch had been deemed useless and had just become another mouth to feed.

Now that she was deemed worthless in their eyes, what would become of her?

******

Downstairs, Lin Sanju ate quietly as Li Mei affectionately served food onto his plate.

Glancing at her son’s face, Li Mei couldn’t discern his thoughts.

Because of her patriarchal family who only cared about sons, Li Mei had focused more on her daughter than her son.

Believing that men had it easier, she assumed her son wouldn’t mind her attention being primarily directed towards her daughter. She didn’t want her daughter to experience the same lack of love and attention she had felt in her own upbringing.

However, her excessive focus on Lin Sunji led to neglecting Lin Sanju, resulting in a strained relationship between them.

Li Mei realized her oversight when she was cooking earlier. She couldn’t recall Lin Sanju’s favorite dish; all the meals she had prepared in the past were either Lin Sunji’s favorites or her husband’s. She had to ask Lin Sanju’s personal butler to learn his preferences.

Li Mei began to reflect on herself and realized she knew very little about her son. She wasn’t aware of his likes and dislikes or his opinions on various matters. Unlike her daughter whom she knew like the back of her hand, she did not know anything about her son.

How was she different from her parents who only focused on their son- her brother?

This realization left her feeling guilty, igniting a desire to repent by giving more attention to Lin Sanju. She made a promise to herself to treat him better and prioritize his needs.

However, in order to fulfill this promise, she knew she had to stop spoiling Lin Sunji. Li Mei hoped that Lin Sunji would mature and understand.

But as she reflected on the earlier scene, Li Mei couldn’t shake her uncertainty. Was she truly doing the right thing? Lin Sunji needed to understand that the world wasn’t always benevolent, that it wouldn’t continually cater to her desires.

"Mother, that’s enough. I won’t be able to eat all of this," Lin Sanju interrupted, noticing his plate filled once again.

Li Mei paused, chuckling nervously as she realized her absentmindedness.

"Why are you being harsh on Sunji?" Lin Sanju’s sudden question caught Li Mei off guard.

She paused, then sadly smiled, "...I thought I was a good mother. But I’ve only just realized that I wasn’t. Especially when it came to you. I failed to give you the care and attention you deserved. Now, I want to rectify that."

Lin Sanju raised his head, meeting his mother’s gaze. Li Mei’s sincerity resonated, and she met his eyes with determination.

However, Lin Sanju lowered his gaze, unable to contain his thoughts. "...I... I’m already old enough to not seek your attention and care. I believe Lin Sunji needs you more than I do now."

Li Mei was stunned. Her son....was actually more considerate than she thought. Li Mei’s eyes could not help but welled up with emotion.

Only now did she realize that her son had grown in the place she wasn’t looking. Why had she once believed her son was unreliable and a waste?

She truly wasn’t a good mother to him.

Li Mei quickly wiped her tears and offered a light smile. "This is an obstacle that Lin Sunji needs to face. Despite appearing childish and self-centered, she is hardworking and strives for perfection. I have faith that she will overcome this obstacle on her own. You should have faith in her too.

"Moreover, Bei Sangyun was the first to recognize you and reveal your true self to us. In this matter, I believe Bei Sangyun can be trusted. Do you trust her as well?"

Bei Sangyun had told them to leave Lin Sunji to her. At first, Li Mei was worried and nervous. But..after thinking about it for days, Li Mei realized that Bei Sangyun wasn’t doing it because of her grudge.

Lin Sanju nodded, agreeing to Li Mei’s words.

Bei Sangyun had earned the trust of his idol, Fei Chuan. Therefore, her abilities surpassed his own. He trusted Bei Sangyun because he trusted Fei Chuan’s judgment; Fei Chuan wasn’t naive or foolish to accept just anyone to stand beside him.

Seeing her son nod, Li Mei felt a significant weight lift from her chest.

"Since you trust her, I will trust Bei Sangyun too. Now, I won’t worry about my daughter. Although you claim to be independent enough not to need my care, as your lacking mother, I still want to care for you. May I?"

Lin Sanju paused, his grip on the chopsticks tightening. Slowly, he raised his head to meet his mother’s gaze.

For a moment, he was uncertain how to respond.

In this family, he was always the one who would be forgotten, neglected, and abandoned.

Despite his attempts to remain inconspicuous for the sake of his survival, deep down, as a child, he yearned to be cherished by his parents.

He did not know when he began to fade from their view. He was always at the back, like a shadow trailing behind them.

He understood that jealousy and greed were destructive emotions that could consume him. He tried his best to shield himself or not be affected by any of these dark emotions.

However, he was only human, and still just a child.

The feeling of neglect was a torment Lin Sunji loathed enduring. In order to protect himself, he started to feel numb, and to not expect anything. Without expectation, he wouldn’t be hurt.

He was lonely. And that was fine.