The Royal Military Academy's Impostor Owns a Dungeon [BL]-Chapter 394: Conviction

He’s got a whole new set of symptoms and an entirely new way of looking at it as the thumping of his chest gripped the entirety of his being.

Luca felt like a giant heart.

A stunned heart that was incapable of blinking, breathing, or thinking. And all he could do was beat frantically until Xavier took pity on him.

Or send him to the afterlife in one piece because the prince who never took his eyes off him shifted, just a little, tilting forward, then angling his head as those lips brushed gently against Luca’s brow.

A featherlight kiss.

So light he was probably going to fly.

But to the confessing prince, it was a wordless vow, and an encouragement to take it easy.

From the very beginning, Xavier had thought of taking his time because he didn’t want Luca to be consumed by his thoughts and affections.

Even now, he said it not because he was expecting a response but because he didn’t want his wife to think of rejection scenarios, especially when those couldn’t be farther from the truth.

And while he desired his wife with every fiber of his being, he would wait because it was worth it. For Luca was the type to give it his all when he’s made up his mind.

And he wanted that.

He wanted all of it. All of him. Like the greedy ass that he really was, he wanted Luca to want him just as much as he yearned for him.

But to do this, to even get to this point, his little chipmunk must be given the space to grow into himself.

And so the prince did what he did best: he didn’t let Luca flounder. Instead, he kept a steady arm around his wife’s waist and let his other hand gently trace circles on his back.

Reassuring. Familiar. Protective.

"I meant what I said," Xavier murmured softly, his voice like a warm blanket. "But there’s no rush. No pressure."

"There’s no need for you to catch up to anyone or me. What’s important is for you to understand why you feel that way and what it would mean for you." freewebnøvel.coɱ

Luca’s mouth opened to reply—only to close again when nothing intelligible came out promptly. His lips flapped once. Twice.

A sound escaped.

It may have been a squawk.

Xavier’s lips quirked into the faintest amused smile as he leaned forward again, brushing one soft kiss to the corner of one golden eye. Then the other.

It was such a delicate thing—barely there—but it hit like lightning, practically liquifying the already soft guide.

If not for Xavier’s arm around him, he might’ve slid straight off the bed like a puddle of overwhelmed goo.

He didn’t know whether to cry, melt, or faint. Possibly all three, but more than anything, he felt like he liked being there, right at this spot where he could feel overwhelmed without feeling terrified.

Without feeling like he’d be judged for asking about questions that sounded so simple to everyone else but were difficult for him.

"X-Xavier..." he finally managed, voice wobbling like jelly. "What should I do?"

Xavier tilted his head, his hand never stopping its slow trace along Luca’s back.

"Nothing," he said softly. "There’s really nothing you must do. I didn’t tell you this so you’d come up with a response. I told you this so you could have more examples for your study."

His fingers gently brushed away hair that was too close to Luca’s eyes as he continued, "And I told you that so if ever time comes and you need to know where I stand, you wouldn’t have to second-guess anything."

Luca’s brows furrowed. "But...In the book I read, when one confesses, the other has to say it back...or else it’s a rejection."

His voice cracked a little.

But how could Luca reject Xavier when the thought of doing that alone hurt, but at the same time, he wasn’t sure he could say something he didn’t even understand yet.

It was confusing, and the little guide felt like he was being pulled into different corners as he tried to grapple with himself.

And it showed all over his face. The way his golden eyes darted, the way his hands fidgeted, how his legs tucked in like he was bracing for disappointment.

But Xavier didn’t flinch.

"It’d be difficult to both reject and accept something that you still don’t understand."

"Also, if you noticed, I wasn’t asking, but was just informing you. Especially since I’m fortunately your husband already." The edge of his mouth turned upward because it was true. He was a lucky fellow in that department because they could take all the time they needed.

"But just because I told you that, and just because we’re married, doesn’t mean you need to give me the lip service of telling me that you love me back."

Xavier’s gaze softened as he brushed a thumb under Luca’s eye again, slow and steady.

"It won’t be the same if you just return the words. Because you need to know what the words mean so you understand what you’re promising when you say them."

Luca frowned slightly. "But how do I do that? He asked, genuinely curious. "How do I become sure like you?"

"Hmm."

He pulled back just enough to meet Luca’s eyes again. "When you get the chance... take your time. Think about what you like. What you don’t. What you’d want."

"Huh? But what’s that got to do with this?" Luca blinked, confused at how that would help.

"I’m sure and can tell because I know myself," he said simply. "And because I am self-aware, it’s difficult to mistake it for anything else."

Because Xavier could tell that out of everything he’d ever liked, and everything that had ever gotten him interested, nothing could compare to the way he liked Luca.

To the point of gladly giving up what he thought had been his life’s purpose, if it meant being able to stay with him.

And yet his little chipmunk was only on his way to determine the food he liked, his favorite color, a hobby, or even his dream. So, how could he jump to loving others and taking them into consideration when he has yet to do it for himself?

"I can tell you that I love you more than my position, the goals I thought I set back then, and any sort of glory that I could possibly get."

"I know I prefer seeing you happy compared to the riches I’ve accumulated, and it’s to the point of refocusing my efforts on what would give you the best satisfaction."

"Not to mention just how many words I’ve said today, even I know it’s too much," he chuckled softly, knowing how people from his family would likely discover things because of his word count of all things.

"But Luca," Xavier said again, gently rubbing his back, "more importantly, I’ve come to value life more than ever after you. I’ve long known about my non-negotiables, but over these few months, I’ve learned to replace them with your welfare in mind."

"So I could tell. I could tell how I’ve revolved around you and how willing I was to do just that."

There was a quiet moment before Luca, still overwhelmed, remembered something.

"...Princess Kira said something like that."

"About?"

"She said she was sure she was in love because she was willing to sacrifice things for it," Luca said slowly. "So...is that it? You’re sure if you’re willing to sacrifice?"

Xavier blinked.

Then he bopped Luca’s nose gently.

"No. What kind of lover would I be if you had to keep sacrificing for a relationship?"

Luca blinked, startled.

"We’d have to learn to compromise, yes," Xavier said, amused at how they’ve even gotten to this point. "But we should build something where we both get to chase our dreams and reach our goals. Just...together."

Luca’s mouth parted slightly.

Oh.

That didn’t sound depressing. And didn’t sound like the guides whom he kept hearing before as they lamented on the cost of this thing called "love".

"That’s part of what I believe love should be," Xavier said, still stroking his back. "Just like I believe there’s no deadline, no perfect moment, and no required script."

"And I’m not going anywhere. I won’t take it back, even if you never say it."

That made Luca blink rapidly. "Y-you won’t?"

"No," Xavier said with certainty. "That’s not how it works. Not for me."

Then, he gently adjusted Luca again, bringing his forehead to rest against his own.

"But one day," he said, "if you do say it... I want it to be because you know. Because you’re sure."

His voice dropped lower, almost reverent.

"Because love without conviction can be shaken too easily..."

"You need to understand it for yourself, so you’ll still choose to love when the hard moments come. Not because I asked. Not because someone else told you."

He smiled then, quiet and reassuring, knowing just how hard it would be for people like them. So if they were going to do this, it should be because they had decided.

"But because you want to. Because you have a reason to."

Luca didn’t move. Couldn’t.

His chest felt too full. His limbs too light.

His eyes glistened, but his heart—his very large, overworked heart—felt like it was cradled in the safest hands.

Because Xavier wasn’t just waiting.

He was holding him steady until he could walk toward him on his own.

And that...that meant more than any confession.

Ba-dump.

Ba-dump. Ba-dump.

Ah.

So, it’s really like that.