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The Villainess Whom I Had Served for 13 Years Has Fallen-Chapter 314: I will be brave
"‘I know.’"
Sitting by the window, Olivia clenched her fists as she watched Mikhail's figure disappearing outside the estate.
—Clench.
‘I know.’
Her terrible personality. The most hated villainess in the world. Olivia was well aware that she had no right to say anything bad to Mikhail. She had realized how wrong it was to force her feelings on him.
Ricardo had told her so. No matter how cruelly Mikhail had treated her, it was true that the fault lay with her.
At first, she denied it. But as time passed, her stubbornness waned, and she came to understand that she was the one who was wrong.
Too late, though.
She had lived arrogantly for so long that changing overnight was impossible.
Still, she had tried to muster up the courage.
Because she had done nothing right.
As Olivia, not just some noble lady, she had nothing to stand on when facing Mikhail.
That’s why she had once thought, if she ever saw Mikhail again, she would apologize.
‘I’m sorry for making your life miserable.’ ‘I haven’t apologized to anyone else, but I want to apologize to you first.’
Because that was the right thing to do. In the relationship between victim and perpetrator, the victim should always have the upper hand. She had planned to throw away her shallow pride and bow her head.
—Clench.
But there were too many people she needed to apologize to.
Yuria. Mikhail. The young noblewomen she had tormented.
There were countless people she owed apologies to, more than she could count on her fingers, and just as many wrongs she needed to seek forgiveness for.
That’s why, when she was alone, she had practiced. She knew better than anyone how hard it was to break one’s own stubbornness.
“Mi... M-sorry... I was... wrong...”
—Knock, knock.
“Ah!”
She had struggled, finding it difficult to get the words out, feeling her entire body curl up in embarrassment as she tried to apologize.
She had tried her best, flailing to grasp the chance she knew would eventually come.
Yes, she had tried.
But...
‘...’
Why was she so angry?
Her feelings for Mikhail had long since faded. Ricardo had even asked her once if she still had any feelings for him.
“My lady, do you still—”
“Huh?”
“Never mind. Want some chocolate?”
“Mm, sure.”
Her answer had been clear.
She no longer liked him.
The time she had spent chasing him at the academy, the tragedy of him losing his leg and becoming a broken man, and the countless tragedies shown by the blue mirror—she had found her answers. Her feelings had disappeared long ago.
It wasn’t so much that she no longer liked him; rather, she realized she had never understood what love was.
All this time, she had misunderstood her feelings for Mikhail. What she thought was love had been closer to possessiveness.
She had never seen anything so beautiful in her life.
Shiny, pretty things.
She was starting to realize that wanting something didn’t equate to love. In fact, it had all been wrong from the start.
That was why she was so angry.
She had cherished, obsessed over, and even lost her leg for a gem that, in the end, turned out to be nothing.
‘...’
From the very moment she saw him, she had known instantly. That woman was Mikhail.
It was so absurd that it made her laugh.
It made her so angry that her head hurt.
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Inside, her heart told her this was her «N.o.v.e.l.i.g.h.t» chance to apologize, but the rising fury had closed her mouth shut.
That was why, when she finally faced Mikhail alone, she had spat out such harsh words.
“Hah...”
Even though she knew she shouldn’t have, she had grabbed his collar and hurled vicious words at him. Mikhail must have been baffled. She was the one in the wrong.
“I’m so selfish, even I can see it.”
She knew.
She had no right to act this way.
She had hurt Ricardo.
She had engraved horrible memories into Mikhail’s life. It was all her doing.
Knowing she had no right, she still spoke recklessly, and the result was hurt feelings and strained emotions.
“Haa...”
It was selfish.
Truly selfish.
Did she regret it?
No.
Even if she died, she wouldn’t regret it.
She had wanted to at least get the words out about her false obsession. If she hadn’t said anything today, she thought she might have repaid it all with an even bigger grudge later. That’s why she didn’t regret it.
Just one thing...
—Clench.
She was furious at herself for being so selfish.
Olivia sighed, wearing a calm expression as she watched Ricardo exchange farewells with Mikhail in the courtyard.
“Next time, don’t ride in such a strange carriage.”
“Yes...”
“You’re escorting someone important, so don’t ask silly questions.”
“Understood, my lady! We’ll ensure safe passage...”
“Be safe.”
“Yes, ma’am!”
“Take care.”
“Yeah... Hey!”
“Yes?”
“I’ll see you again, right?”
“Of course. There’s still a mountain of things to tell you.”
Seeing Ricardo caught in the middle, Olivia made a bitter face. That soft-hearted fool must be struggling inwardly.
“So annoying...”
After bidding farewell to Ricardo, Mikhail glanced up at Olivia, sitting by the window, and gave a small nod of acknowledgment.
“I’m off.”
—Nod.
Olivia closed her eyes tightly.
Another peaceful morning in Desmond.
“Air... raid alarm...!”
I tilted my head at the halfhearted alarm coming from the young lady. She didn’t seem to be in a good mood.
Not only had she woken up earlier than usual, but the half-spirited warning had cast an ominous start to the day.
“Hmm...”
I looked up at the ceiling, nodded lightly, and rolled up my sleeves. As her butler, it was my duty to improve the young lady’s mood.
I quickly prepared a tray with breakfast and smiled as I looked at the meager meal laid out.
Today’s breakfast was rice with beans and grilled bacon, one of her favorites...
‘This is bad.’
I shuddered at the poor state of the meal. It wouldn’t be enough to lift the young lady’s gloomy mood.
I pulled a bar of chocolate from the shelf, flashing a wry smile.
‘I shouldn’t be giving her chocolate this early.’
Closing my eyes tightly, I stuffed the chocolate into my pocket. As much as her health mattered, my survival was more important.
Finally arriving at the young lady’s room.
“Ah...”
Shielding her eyes from the morning sun, the young lady turned her head away from me and the tray I was carrying.
“Hmph!”
“???”
“...Hmph.”
“Oh...”
I had a bad feeling about this.
It seemed like she was upset.
Carefully, I approached the young lady, who was staring out the window, and asked.
“My lady.”
“...”
“Are you upset?”
“Mhm.”
Her noble demeanor clearly conveyed her displeasure, and I nodded heavily. It would’ve been troublesome if she had denied it.
Nodding, I carefully handed over my bribe. I had planned to give it to her after breakfast, but the situation seemed too delicate for that.
“My lady. Here...”
—Swoosh.
“Eeek!”
“It’s not much, but please accept it.”
The young lady smirked slightly, but then shook her head firmly.
“I’m not eating it.”
“What?”
“I won’t eat it.”
The young lady rejecting chocolate...
I looked wistfully at the rising sun and thought to myself, ‘The world must be ending tomorrow.’
I scooped a large spoonful of rice and, with a serious expression, presented it to her.
Being upset is one thing, but I still had my duties to fulfill.
“Here comes the airplane.”
The young lady shot me a stern look but eventually opened her mouth.
“Ah... chomp!”
No matter how upset she was, she wasn’t the type to skip a meal.
As I spoon-fed her, I thought deeply about what had upset her.
Was it because I hadn’t spent time with her after falling into that pit yesterday, or was it because I had been alone in the pit with a strange woman?
Personally, I hoped it was the latter—it would mean she cared—but knowing her, she wouldn’t reject chocolate over something so trivial. To her, chocolate was sacred.
Then...
—Clatter.
“Huh?”
I snapped out of my thoughts to realize the plate was empty.
I looked down at the clattering, empty plate with a bitter smile.
“You’ve finished it all.”
“Hmph.”
“...Shall I bring more?”
“No, I’ll eat the chocolate now.”
“...?”
With the chocolate in her mouth, the young lady stared out the window and spoke quietly.
“Ricardo.”
“Yes.”
“I’m a bad person, aren’t I?”
“No.”
“Really?”
“Yes. You’re just a bit mean.”
“Eeeek!”
The young lady’s shoulders drooped as she carefully spoke again.
“I’m not angry at you because of Ricardo.”
“Then what is it?”
“I’m angry at myself.”
“Hmm...”
She gazed out the window and murmured softly.
“I’m shameless and always angry.”
She seemed so dejected, as if asking me to deny it.
“I’m obsessively clean, but also so dirty...”
“...”
“My personality is horrible, but I still want to be praised.”
“You’re very self-aware.”
“...Eek.”
I gently patted her head as we both stared out the window.
“That’s why you’re wonderful.”
The young lady turned her head to look at me, startled. Her eyes seemed to ask what on earth I found wonderful about her.
“Huh...?”
I chuckled at her puzzled expression.
“Yes, and that’s why I like you, my lady.”
“...?”
“Clumsy and foolish.”
“I’m not a fool.”
“Of course not.”
“...What else?”
“You’re quick to get angry but able to admit when you’re wrong, and you tell me when you’re upset.”
“And?”
“And... you’re the most beautiful person in the world. Isn’t that enough?”
“...Hehe, yes, that’s right.”
Smiling brightly, the young lady spoke in a small voice as she looked out the window.
“You know, Ricardo.”
“Yes.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome.”
Feeling a bit embarrassed by her sudden expression of gratitude, I scratched my nose.
Then, she spoke again, this time on a more sensitive subject.
“If I ever...”
“Yes.”
“If I ever meet Mikhail again...”
“...”
Swallowing hard, I focused on her lips, but the young lady completely disregarded my expectations and said something entirely unexpected.
“I’m going to apologize.”
“What?”
“Yes, I’m going to apologize.”
Surprised, I stiffened and nodded.
“I see.”
“Yes, but I’m not quite ready yet.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes.”
“How do you mean?”
“If I see him now, I think I’d be so angry and full of hatred. I’d want to demand why he did those things. But...”
Clenching her fist, the young lady spoke with determination.
“This time, I’m going to apologize properly. I don’t like him anymore... and I’m sorry.”
I nodded slowly, gazing out the window.
“You’ve grown up, my lady.”
“Mhm.”
The young lady, mustering her courage, leaned her head on my shoulder.
“Give me more chocolate.”
“No.”
“Hahaha... alright, alright.”