Trapped In A Novel As The Breeding Mate For Four Powerful Alphas-Chapter 26: This was my chance

"A promise?" Wasn't that too big of a word to use in this instance?

"Why?" He asked, looking down at me. "Can I not make promises?"

"No, I didn't say that." I said. "I... Just thought," I slowly darted my eyes away. "...you would be busy. There must be more important things for you to do, right?"

Ki-hoon went silent, but then he looked away, his mind wandering, and I took this moment to catch my breath. I was on thin ice around this man and it made me hold my breath without thinking.

Even breathing seemed to be an issue in his presence. Was that how much I was scared of him?

No, I wasn't scared of him. I was scared of what he could do to me.

"Jo-Pil," Ki-hoon called and turned his gaze back to me.

"Yes, master?"

"Why did you cry?" He asked and I got lost. Cry? Who cried? Me? When did I cry?

I looked at him puzzled but he sighed and shook his head.

"Forget it." He said but I squinted my eyes. No, this was an opportunity to score some points with him.

I just needed to think of what he was referring to.

Just then, I remembered that a few tears slid down from my eyes when it felt like he was doubting me and really going to 'check' me and even have sex with me.

I was so devastated that my efforts would amount to nothing and without realizing it, tears had slid down my eyes.

But he wasn't planning to check, he just wanted to check my temperature. Wait, hold on. What if he did intend to check but when he saw my tears, he decided not to because he saw I was hurt?

Him asking me that now just proved there was some truth to that, right? This man was worried about hurting me, especially when I hadn't done anything to offend him, and he knew, probably, that his hatred for me was all as a result of a setup.

This was my chance.

"I was scared," I said and he shifted his gaze back to me. "I told you what you wanted to hear. I told the truth, but it seemed like you did not believe me. It felt like I was being hated on and I... I was being doubted. If you, who was one of the people who helped me out of my debt, came to doubt me and hated me then I would have no one left in the world."

Without realizing it, tears started sliding down my eyes again. I was still lying down so they fell down the corners of my eyes.

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I get that I needed to make my performance real but what was with the tears? It wasn't my doing, I swear. I wasn't forcing it but they just wouldn't stop flowing.

"There are so many things I'm scared about but I know I can not make demands since it is not my place. I don't have the right. But still... I hoped we could get along. I hoped we could at least be on talking terms and you would come to trust me. But I was arrogant to think like that because we are not on equal footing, and realizing that broke me more."

I was embarrassed. Embarrassed that I couldn't even control my own tears and scared that most of what I said was actually what I felt in my heart.

I felt naked.

In this dream, where the world resembled that of the novel I read to the very last detail, I felt like a foreigner. I was lost, confused, and scared.

It was to the point that I began to have doubts if this was an actual dream, as I chose to believe, or the reality that I would live for the rest of my life.

And then when giving him an excuse as to why I was crying, I ended up spitting out what I really felt.

Even if they were all fiction, an imagination of someone's fantasy, a well-crafted character on a numbered page, I was still in their world. And because there was no one to lean on in this dangerous fictional world, I wished to at least have one person to be on my side.

A life insurance, or something like that.

"Jo-Pil," Ki-hoon called, taking my hand, which he had been holding all along and my gaze followed my hand to his face, where he pressed my hand to his lips and kissed it.

Wait, what? Why did he do that? Was this his way of comforting me?

"You might not know, but it's thanks to you I am where I am today," he said, and I gave him a confused expression. "You might not believe it since you don't remember me but if you did remember, then you'd understand what I'm saying. But for now, I want you to know that for the past five years, I have had hatred in my heart towards you because of what I chose to believe."

I gulped.

"But even as I hated you to the core and thought of making you suffer as much as you made me suffer when I eventually found you, I had this flicker of hope in my heart that all I had been made to believe about you was wrong. With each passing day, I wished you would appear before me and tell me the truth. Tell me it was all a misunderstanding. I told myself I would believe it. I would believe you," his gaze fell softly on mine. "And even if you made up a story, an excuse as to why you had to be away from me for five years, I would still believe it. But with each passing day, you made me wait for you. Each passing day I was made to live with the reality that you were no longer the person I believed you were; my anger and hatred burned, consuming me and my personality. It... Changed me."