Unintended Immortality-Chapter 335: A Polite Teacher

“Ms. Calico, I’ve come to seek your guidance again.”

A voice from outside suddenly called out, and then a figure stepped through the doorway.

The little girl, who had been flipping through a book while eating candied hawthorn, froze for a moment. She lifted her head to look outside, and immediately her small face turned serious. She stared at the approaching visitor like an enemy about to invade her territory.

“Well, well! You’re eating candied hawthorn?”

“Yes!” Lady Calico replied firmly.

“Where’d you get candied hawthorn on a rainy day?”

“Someone gave it to me!”

“Oh...”

“Do you want some? Here, have some!” Ms. Calico immediately extended her hand, offering the skewer of candied hawthorn to her student.

“Alright, I’ll try one,” the martial heroine Heroine Wu replied.

Lady Calico froze for a second, then suddenly withdrew her hand. She looked at Heroine Wu with the utmost seriousness and declared, “On second thought, no. I just remembered that I already licked it...”

“How stingy...”

“I’m not stingy! I just remembered that humans don’t eat things someone else has licked—it has saliva on it!”

“Then I’ll eat one from lower down.”

“I’ve already licked the entire thing.”

“Fine, never mind then.”

“What do you want to ask? Go ahead and ask.”

The student walked over, squatted down, handed over a book, and pointed to some words. Ms. Calico put her own book aside for the moment, holding the candied hawthorn in one hand while leaning over to take a look.

“There are several characters I don’t recognize again,” the student said.

“This one is pronounced È.”

“È...”

“It’s like the word for being hungry.”

“And this one?”

“This one is pronounced Yǔ, like the name of a fish in the river.”

“Yǔ...”

The two figures, one big and one small, one sitting and one squatting, muttered back and forth by the fire.

Eventually, Heroine Wu simply brought over a small stool, sat beside the young teacher, and continued her studies earnestly. Despite learning from a little child and working through very basic material, she showed no trace of embarrassment, embodying the saying, “Learning knows no age or seniority, and those who excel can be teachers.”

As they continued, Heroine Wu suddenly sniffed the air and wrinkled her nose. “Why does it smell so strange?”

“Some guests came by earlier,” Ms. Calico replied.

“What kind of guests?”

“A fox and her tail.”

“This smell is really nice.”

“It’s the scent of a fox.”

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“I feel like I’ve smelled it somewhere before.”

“It’s a fox’s scent.”

“Such a familiar scent,” Heroine Wu said, sniffing again and grinning. “I think I smelled it on a demon hiding in Changjing once. But it wasn’t a fox—someone said it was a rabbit.”

“It’s the scent of a fox,” Lady Calico insisted.

“Alright, alright, whatever you say.”

“Stop talking about that!” Ms. Calico frowned, her small face serious. “Focus on your studies!”

“Yes, Ms. Calico.”

The two figures, one big and one small, returned to their studies.

The learning capabilities of adults versus children were hard to compare. However, when an adult genuinely decided to learn something—especially when they rationally recognized the necessity of mastering it—their attitude was often much better than a child’s.

Lady Calico, gifted as she was, could memorize things at a glance, excelling in her lessons. Heroine Wu couldn’t match that level of innate talent, but her attitude was excellent. Plus, in her thirty or so years of life, she had already built a hidden foundation.

Most of the unfamiliar words she encountered were ones she had frequently seen or used, but had simply never learned to recognize properly or had only seen rarely and remembered poorly.

Now that she was actively studying, her progress was remarkably quick, which unintentionally put pressure on Ms. Calico to keep up.

Sometimes Song You felt like they were competing with each other. A race to out-learn one another.

At times like this, the Daoist found himself taking on the role of an attendant. He brewed tea, poured water, and, when the dried fruits roasting on the iron grate were ready, he moved them aside and reminded the two to eat.

Meanwhile, the Daoist leisurely read his storybook as he tended to their needs. Thankfully, tasks like brewing tea, pouring water, and toasting dried fruits were easy and relaxing. In fact, he found them quite enjoyable, bringing a quiet charm to the moment.

It was unclear how much time had passed before Heroine Wu finally stood up.

“Alright, I’ve got it all down.”

“You’ve got it all down!”

“Thank you, Ms. Calico, for your guidance.”

“...”

Lady Calico took a deep breath, staring at her intently. It took her a moment to calm herself before responding, “You’re welcome! If there’s anything else you don’t understand, come back and ask!”

“With this, I’ve almost memorized the Hundred Family Surnames. I’ll take the book home to review it again and practice writing it a few more times. I should be able to get it all correct. Tomorrow, I’ll bring it back and ask you for another book.”

“...!” Lady Calico’s expression stiffened, her brows furrowing.

She finished it so quickly? As expected of an adult! Just like the Daoist priest said!

Lady Calico suddenly felt immense pressure. She glanced down at her own book. It seemed she would need to stay up late reading by lamplight to keep up.

“Well then, I’ll be on my way.”

“Go ahead.”

Heroine Wu stepped outside.

But as she reached the door, she noticed that the “Dao” flag and the shop signs reading Exorcism and Rodent Extermination—which had been taken down before—were now hung back up. She paused and turned to the Daoist and the little girl reading by the fire inside, asking, “Have you reopened for business?”

“Yes,” the Daoist replied, looking up at her. “It was Lady Calico's decision.”

“I decided!” Lady Calico chimed in enthusiastically.

“I see...” Heroine Wu mused, holding her book. “I don’t really have much use for money now. That person, uh, gave me a huge sum before. It’s probably enough for a lifetime, so I don’t feel like going out to earn more. But there are still a few people I know in the city, though not many I’m still in contact with.

“One of them works for the Wude Division[1] and has access to a lot of information. If any noble residences have trouble with mice, I’ll let Lady Calico know. And if there’s any trouble with demons or spirits that’s hard to handle, I’ll inform you.”

“You misunderstand,” the Daoist said. “Now, dealing with mice and exorcizing evil—all of it is handled by Lady Calico.”

“...”

Heroine Wu froze for a moment, then gave the Daoist a more thorough up-and-down look. After a long silence, she couldn’t help but comment, “You really are something.”

“Lady Calico is very capable,” the Daoist said without a hint of shame.

“That’s right!” Lady Calico chimed in again. “I possess vast divine powers and immense magical strength”

“So... I’ll inform you about everything?”

“Thank you!”

“No need for thanks. Just think of it as my shuxiu for you.”

“Shuxiu?” Lady Calico tilted her head.

“It’s a traditional gift students give to their teachers as a token of gratitude, usually some cured meat. Since you taught me to read, it’s only proper to give you a gift. That’s etiquette,” Heroine Wu explained, then paused thoughtfully.

“But I’ve noticed you running around upstairs at night with all that clattering, and you’ve got quite the stockpile of mice up there. I’m guessing you don’t need me to bring you meat, so I’ll just provide you with some information instead.”

“Shuxiu!” Lady Calico exclaimed, clearly delighted with the new word.

“Oh, right. I don’t know how to write this word yet. I’ll ask you about it tomorrow,” Heroine Wu said.

“Eat a candied hawthorn!” The little girl extended her hand toward her again.

“Didn’t you already lick it?”

“It’s just saliva...”

“Farewell.” Heroine Wu turned and walked out.

The little girl watched her leave. Thinking about how she might soon start her own business—just like the Daoist did three years ago—and earn more money exorcizing demons than she ever did eradicating mice, she felt a wave of happiness.

She imagined supporting the Daoist, buying him more meat to eat and more useless expensive toys to play with. But then she remembered her student’s rapid learning progress and felt a twinge of anxiety.

It seemed Lady Calico had a lot to do.

“Daoist...”

“Yes?”

“How do you write shuxiu?”

“It’s simple...”

The Daoist patiently taught her.

***

Night slowly deepened.

At Hexian Pavilion, there was the sound of a conversation.

“Why did you tell him we’re from Yuezhou? Didn’t you always say that if you’re going to pretend, you need to act the part, and that every detail matters?” the maid asked, picking up a kiwi from the table. She didn’t know which sympathetic scholar or poet, admiring Miss Wanjiang’s unparalleled grace but lamenting her ill fate, had sent it.

“Have you eaten all these fruits over the years for nothing?” she added.

“Do you remember the premonition I had when we returned from our trip along the river?”

“If you remember, of course I do.”

“The heir of Hidden Dragon Temple descending the mountain at this time—both the State Preceptor’s plans and ours may come to nothing.”

“Didn’t the State Preceptor realize this too? That’s why he kept altering his plans and devising new strategies,” the maid replied. “If we put in the same effort, who’s to say we won’t succeed?”

“...”

The woman didn’t respond or continue the discussion. Instead, she sighed softly, her tone carrying a faint melancholy. “Don’t you think so? Whether we succeed or fail, the rest of our lives will still be so unbearably long.”

“Yes. How shall we spend it?” The maid smiled as she fixed her gaze on her.

“San San...”

“I’m Yi Yi.”

“Alright.”

The woman fell silent, turning to look out the window.

The heir of Hidden Dragon Temple was indeed remarkable, the greatest variable—one that even the State Preceptor couldn’t foresee or account for. When one’s cultivation and power reached a certain height, they could overwhelm everything, rendering even the most intricate plans useless. Still, the maid had a point. If they put in more effort and thought, their goals might yet be achievable. It all depended on whether they were willing.

This path might be feasible. Or it might not.

“Let’s just go with the flow,” the woman finally said.

“Have you decided?”

“Forcing things too much isn’t good.”

“You’re acting strange.”

“Don’t speak nonsense.”

“If it’s a fox’s words, isn’t it fox-speak?”

“You’re just a tail.”

“But I’m you.”

“...”

Suddenly, the two of them sensed something. One furrowed her brows slightly, while the other narrowed her eyes. Both turned their heads to look outside, their gazes slightly downward, as if they could see through the wooden floorboards to the doorway below.

“I’ll go check.”

The maid turned and headed downstairs.

Her footsteps echoed as she descended.

The woman also rose slowly and moved to the window. Without a hint of fear, she pushed it open and looked out.

A plume of black smoke rose into the air, blending almost seamlessly with the night. Yet, to her eyes, it was clear—this plume of smoke ascended slowly before drifting toward the west side of the city.

At the same time, the maid’s footsteps sounded again, returning upstairs.

“It was a wolf—not a wolf from around here, but the kind we used to see on the grasslands when we were young. Not a real wolf, though, but a transformed one,” the maid said as she came up, holding two fat, gray-furred mice by their tails.

She swung the mice around lazily, a look of complete nonchalance on her face. As she twirled them, she added, “That wolf delivered these two mice to us and then dispersed. I didn’t stop it.”

“It’s that cat.”

“Such a well-mannered, sensible child. I like that cat more and more,” the maid said, still twirling the mice by their tails. It was a sight most people would never expect to see.

“Stop doing that.”

“Why?”

“It’s very improper.”

“There’s no one here but us. What’s there to worry about? Besides, ‘you’ are about to die. Are you still afraid?”

“It’s very improper.”

“Fine.”

The maid obediently complied, tossing the mice onto the table with a loud thud. Then, with a mischievous smile, she turned to the woman and said, “It’s a return gift, you know. Look at these fat mice—such plump ones aren’t easy to find even in Changjing. They must have been carefully picked. So, how do you plan to eat them?”

The woman fell into a deep silence. In that silence was a mix of helplessness and fatigue.

Sometimes dealing with these “tails” left her feeling utterly at a loss.

1. The Wude Division was the name of a military police agency in the Song Dynasty. As a secretive organization, it was responsible for overseeing palace security, guarding the emperor's residences, and gathering intelligence. ☜