※ This chapter contains depictions of quasi-sexual acts involving third parties. Please keep that in mind while reading.

“Yohan’s grandmother. She took me in when I was a kid.”

Even now, whenever he thought of her, the first thing that rose in his chest was a dull ache and guilt. She passed away before either of them could properly repay her. He owed Yohan—and her—a debt of gratitude he would never be able to settle in this lifetime.

Lee Kangjoo stared at Haejun for a long moment before shifting his gaze to the tablet. Then he set it down and pressed firmly between his brows, as if easing a headache. He looked tired.

Well, of course he did. Taking care of someone wasn’t easy. He had practically put a grown man to sleep, fed him, even helped him wash. Kangjoo probably hadn’t had a proper moment to rest himself.

“I’m really okay now. The sofa must be uncomfortable—sleep on the bed.”

“......”

“......Or you can go home if you want......”

The memory of Kangjoo saying home was more comfortable flickered through his mind. Haejun lowered his eyes and mumbled.

“It’s fine.”

“You must be busy... you really can go......”

Haejun pulled the blanket up to his mouth and kept saying things he didn’t mean. In truth, he didn’t want Kangjoo to leave. He wanted him to stay a little longer in the same space. Shamelessly, he wanted to hold onto the man who’d spent all this time nursing him.

“I’ll handle my work. Just go to sleep.”

“I’m serious......”

“Sleep.”

The medicine was already making his eyelids heavy. He forced them open, not wanting to miss even a second of this time with Kangjoo, but they kept sliding shut.

Kangjoo’s figure, imprinted on his retinas, blurred and swam. He tried to hold out, but there was no beating the pull of sleep. At some point even the faint light faded away.

* * *

“Ah... fuck.”

No Eunjae raked a hand roughly through his hair and stared blankly into the air. His eyes throbbed. A hangover pounded in his skull, and every time he exhaled, his stomach squeezed up the stench of alcohol. He felt so nauseous he could practically identify last night’s bar snacks with the naked eye.

He shivered and scrubbed at his arms. Even with a thick padded jacket on, the early dawn cold wormed its way through every gap.

Without smoothing out his creased brow, he dug a cigarette from his pocket. The last one. He stuck it between his lips and lit it. After a deep drag, the club-to-the-head headache eased, if only a little.

They’d been at a club, then moved to a bar. That’s where he ran into Cha Haejun... After that, things were fuzzy. When he came to his senses, he’d been sprawled in a familiar hallway. He staggered inside, threw off his shoes, and went straight to bed.

He’d been sinking into a blissful sleep when faint noises started to interfere. The alcohol hadn’t fully worn off, and lifting his eyelids felt like torture, but there was no way he could ignore it.

The thudding against the wall came from Cha Haejun’s place. Pressing his ear close, he could faintly hear strained, muffled sounds. Sudden sharp pitches. Messy moans bursting out after being held back too long.

Was someone stabbing him in the gut with a knife, or pounding into him with a dick?

Eunjae snickered at his own vulgar imagination. Then the pretty, clean-cut face of the guy next door flashed before his eyes, and his laughter died abruptly.

“......”

The day Cha Haejun’s existence became vividly real to him surfaced without warning.

He’d stepped into a host bar purely for the money. A senior had lured him in with talk about earning cash while drinking and partying, and he’d pretended not to resist too hard.

It suited him well enough. There were assholes, sure, but tolerable. The drinks and food were free, and if he played his cards right he could even relieve some sexual tension. On top of that, he got paid. Triple win. Perfect part-time job for someone with a dangerously light lower half.

Of course, it was only a brief deviation. He had no intention of staying long. His life hadn’t fallen that low. He planned to quit after a month.

That’s where he met Cha Haejun. A senior who’d been planted in the bar for quite some time. The other bastards pulled nasty seniority crap, but he never joined in.

His skin was unusually pale, his features small and neat. From one angle he looked handsome; from another, almost pretty. Even standing still, he drew attention effortlessly. When he smiled softly, he looked cute. His voice was clear yet ❀ Nоvеlігht ❀ (Don’t copy, read here) gentle.

It wasn’t a word people used for men, but Cha Haejun resembled a swallow covered in pure white feathers. Among a flock of black birds, he stood out alone—a mutant, maybe, but strikingly unique and beautiful.

When he danced, it was borderline ridiculous. But the moment he started singing, he stole everyone’s breath. Some customers even requested songs just to watch him. When they tucked bills into his shirt collar and praised him, he’d bow his head in thanks and grin foolishly.

Yet once he stepped out of the room, that same man would turn half-vacant and lifeless. Blunt about everything. Not particularly eager to build connections with anyone. Like his mind was wandering in some far-off field of beans.

At first, Eunjae didn’t care. The people he met at the bar were just coworkers swinging their lower halves for money. Nothing more. He didn’t want to get entangled beyond that. Once he quit, those ties would snap anyway.

Cha Haejun had been just another one of those people. Even if he heard news of his death someday, he figured he’d shrug it off and never step foot in a funeral hall.

But after witnessing that scene, his impression changed.

It was the day they ended up in the same room. Things were going as usual when a customer made a grotesque proposal, pointing at one of the attendants sitting across from them.

“If that bastard sucks his dick, I’ll give you a million.”

He laid down a check.

Silence fell.

Sure, someone with unusual tastes might end up in a group. But doing that openly, in front of everyone? No one would humiliate themselves like that. Who would kneel for someone else’s cock just for money? Not even for a fortune.

“Come on, noona. You’re drunk.”

“I said I’ll pay. If a customer tells you to suck something, you suck it, don’t you? You male whores.”

The atmosphere went stiff. Even her companions tried to stop her. Then Cha Haejun quietly raised his hand. His expression was solemn. His eyes were crystal clear, not a trace of alcohol in them.

“You’ll really pay, right?”

“Of course.”

As the woman curled her lipstick-smeared lips into a grin, Haejun shot to his feet and dropped to his knees in front of the man she’d pointed at. He gently coaxed the guy—who was protesting—while unzipping him.

Everyone’s eyes fixed on the small head moving up and down. The woman who’d demanded it laughed loudly, entertained. Not wanting to ruin the mood, the others whistled and cheered.

“If you make him come, I’ll add another million!”

The small head moved faster. His pale hand stroked the thick flesh, urging release. The guy who’d resisted at first was now throwing his head back, hips bucking, enjoying it.

Eventually the man grabbed Haejun’s head and shuddered. Haejun spat the semen onto the floor like phlegm, grabbed a bottle to rinse his mouth, then seized the still-panting man’s wrist and lifted it high, as if claiming victory. He kissed the two checks he’d earned like trophies.

It was bold. Applause-worthy, even.

Eunjae had thought he’d built immunity to most things since entering that world, but seeing it up close was shocking. Dirtier than porn. So vivid it made him nauseous. Revolting. Graphic. Horrifying—and perversely arousing all at once.

Cha Haejun was someone who’d sold the last scrap of his soul for money. A creature from a deep-sea trench Eunjae had never once glimpsed in his life.

Everyone in the room praised him, called him impressive. But Eunjae was sure that deep down they all thought he was lower than a bug. Himself included.

After the gathering ended, people filtered out. Still reeling, Eunjae left last. Unexpectedly, Haejun was still there—leaning against the wall, head hanging low.

“Hajin hyung?”

No response. When he shook his shoulder, Haejun slowly lifted his head and looked straight at him.

“......”

Eunjae lost his words. He could’ve said plenty—“Nice show,” or “How desperate do you have to be to do that without flinching?” There was room for mockery or praise. But none of it made it past his throat.

He had never seen eyes like that. 𝐟𝗿𝐞𝚎𝚠𝐞𝚋𝕟𝐨𝚟𝐞𝕝.𝕔𝕠𝚖

There was no light in them. Like a dead star. Not drunken haze. Just emptiness. A vacuum dried of air.

How could eyes like that be set in a human face?

“......”

Leaving the stunned Eunjae behind, Haejun turned away. Eunjae didn’t stop him.

* * *

In a place this small, rumors traveled faster than light. There had always been teasing aimed at Haejun because of his pretty face, but never like this. The guys who’d buttered him up with “hyung, hyung” now giggled and spewed filthy jokes about him sucking someone else’s dick.

“Fuck, he sucks cock insanely well. Bet that bastard sells his ass too. With a face like that? Makes you hard just looking.”

“No wonder his lips are so plump. Think he’ll give a discount if you negotiate?”

“Why pay? Just sweet-talk him and get it for free.”

He didn’t know why those words irritated him so much.