I'm Not the Mastermind-Chapter 48

“…Thank you.”

At Yujin’s words, Alicia steadied herself, calming her trembling body as she bowed her head slightly.

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Watching her, Yujin asked another question.

“Your Highness, may I ask one more thing?”

“…Of course.”

“It might be difficult given how young you were, but do you remember what kinds of things you used to do with your mother?”

“What I used to do with my mother…”

Alicia paused to think for a moment before answering.

“When I was little… I liked having tea time with my mother or going on walks in the garden. At night, she would tell me stories… Other than that… I’m sorry, my memories are a bit vague since I was so young.”

“That’s more than enough. Thank you. One more question, then. Do you have anyone you’re particularly close to on a personal level?”

“Someone I’m close to… personally?”

“Yes. Ideally, someone who is aware of your condition. It would be even better if it’s a woman.”

At his question, Alicia seemed to think for a while before responding.

“…Aside from my family, I can’t think of anyone. It’s a bit embarrassing to admit, but I feel uncomfortable letting others get too close…”

“Is that because of your past?”

“…Yes. I later found out that the person who assassinated my mother was one of her personal knights. Since then, I’ve avoided letting others get too close to me.”

So the assassin was her mother’s own bodyguard. A knight, a position that was supposed to be steeped in honor, wealth, and power, had betrayed it all to take on the role of an assassin. The knight had surely been executed for their treachery, along with their family.

But Yujin didn’t dwell on the details. There were countless ways to manipulate people, and some were unspeakably vile. That knight had likely fallen victim to one of those methods.

“That’s why… apart from my family, I haven’t let others get too close. It’s not just about trust—it makes me uncomfortable…”

“But your family members…”

“…They’re royalty, of course. But why do you ask about someone I’m close to?”

When Alicia hesitantly asked, Yujin explained.

“I’d like that person to temporarily take on the role of your late mother, the Crown Princess.”

“…Pardon?”

“I’ll explain.”

Yujin continued, “It’s nothing grand. I want you to replicate the activities you used to enjoy with the late Crown Princess with someone you trust. The goal is to overlay those memories onto your current experiences.”

“To… overlay my memories…”

“Yes. If I had to describe it in a word, it would be something like a déjà vu effect. As I mentioned earlier, Your Highness needs to become accustomed to facing your trauma. At the very least, you need to be able to face it without breaking down.”

“......”

“By recreating the things you used to do with your mother, you’ll be gradually exposed to those memories and the associated emotions—nostalgia, sadness, and grief—until you can face them without being overwhelmed. The idea is to become accustomed to the pain of losing her and to eventually find freedom from the emotions tied to it. Of course, given how young you were at the time, it might be difficult to recall those memories in detail, but we should still try.”

This approach closely resembles methods used to treat PTSD.

After all, PTSD is a condition with a clear cause, which means its treatment is relatively straightforward: confront and fully process the source of the trauma without running away.

Of course, while the concept is simple, for those suffering from PTSD, it’s anything but easy. If someone could process it in one go, they wouldn’t have developed PTSD in the first place.

That’s why a gradual process of stabilization is essential, as Yujin suggested. Helping the individual recover from flashbacks, physical discomfort, and negative emotions step by step is critical.

This is what Yujin was aiming for: to help Alicia face the death of her mother and the sorrow it caused. By recalling the memories of her time with her mother, she could slowly come to terms with the emptiness left behind and find freedom from the emotions and thoughts that had been holding her captive.

"Using a method like EMDR would have been ideal… but unfortunately, I’m not a licensed specialist."

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a treatment where, under the guidance of a doctor, a patient engages in activities like moving their eyes side to side while listening to sounds or feeling tactile sensations. The goal is to make traumatic memories feel less distressing.

The treatment, inspired by the free movement of the eyes during REM sleep, has been recognized as one of the most effective therapies for PTSD by the American Psychiatric Association since 2004. It can blur or diminish the emotional impact of painful memories.

However, the key is that EMDR must be administered by a licensed psychiatrist or clinical psychologist trained in the method. Attempting it without proper training can worsen the condition. Improper application could strengthen the synaptic connections associated with traumatic memories, making them even more deeply ingrained.

Yujin, having undergone this therapy after his parents’ deaths, knew its potential benefits but also recognized the risks. Since he wasn’t a professional, he refrained from using such methods.

What he could offer Alicia was a much simpler and more fundamental approach: stabilizing her through consistent exposure to memories of her late mother and helping her grow accustomed to the emptiness left behind.

Additionally, having someone to share her painful feelings with would be immensely helpful. The first priority in dealing with someone who has suffered a traumatic event is providing emotional support and encouraging them to speak openly about the incident. Relaxation techniques and adaptive strategies are also effective ways to help the individual cope.

Being well-acquainted with these approaches through his own experiences, Yujin hoped that Alicia could find peace and slowly adjust to her memories of the late Crown Princess by sharing them with a trusted confidant. But there was one problem.

"Hmm… It seems it would be difficult to rely on your royal family members for this, wouldn’t it?"

“…Yes. Father, His Majesty the Emperor, and my brother, the Crown Prince, are both incredibly busy. Not only are they managing state affairs, but they’re also locked in a power struggle with the Polytheistic Church over my possession of the Demonic Seed. My older sister is still recovering her place in high society and assisting her husband, the Duke, due to issues related to me.”

At the thought of her family, Alicia’s face briefly showed guilt, though she tried to steady her trembling voice as she explained.

"And the Empress?" Yujin asked.

“…Technically, she is my mother, but… if you’re asking whether we’re close, the answer is no. Our relationship is… rather awkward, to put it lightly.”

“That’s understandable.”

It was rare for a daughter born to a primary wife to have a good relationship with the child of a concubine. In Alicia’s case, her situation was particularly strained.

The current Empress had entered the palace after the late Crown Princess’s death, having no personal ties to her predecessor. Moreover, the Empress likely harbored resentment toward the late Crown Princess, as the Emperor had never truly let go of his first wife’s memory. He even kept the current Empress in a secondary position, which naturally created tension between her and Alicia, the late Crown Princess’s daughter.

"Hmm… Is there truly no one else you could rely on?"

"Someone else… My swordmaster comes to mind, but…"

At least there was one person who might have been a candidate. Yujin followed up.

"Could you ask for their help?"

"…That person went to the Pandemonium and hasn’t been heard from since."

“......”

Pandemonium.

Yujin had read about it as part of Labyrinth Academy’s lore, though only in passing. It was described as a place where demonic creatures and the descendants of demons resided, a literal hell on earth.

According to the descriptions, it was a realm created by demons—a battlefield of endless carnage where demonic beasts and demon-blooded beings slaughtered one another. Occasionally, when their numbers grew too large, they would spill out into the human world, requiring the intervention of the Polytheistic Church and other factions to keep them in check.

Though exceedingly rare, there were instances when demons with transcendent bloodlines emerged from Pandemonium and invaded the human world. Fortunately, such events hadn’t occurred in the past thousand years. Pandemonium itself was too chaotic, with its inhabitants constantly fighting for survival, preventing any organized invasion.

Still, it was clear that the place was unimaginably dangerous.

“…But I don’t think they’ve died. My swordmaster is known as the ‘Saintess of the Sword.’ And as you might know, Professor, most of the saints and saintesses, including His Holiness the Pope, have joined the large-scale expedition to Pandemonium. It’s not unusual that communication is impossible due to the high concentration of magi there.”

“…I see.”

This was new information for Yujin. As someone still unfamiliar with the deeper workings of this world, he hadn’t known about the saints and saintesses heading to Pandemonium, let alone that Alicia’s swordmaster was among them.

“The absence of the saints and saintesses might be a small blessing in disguise. If they were present while my situation remains unresolved, the radicals in the church might have already exposed my condition to the public and called for my execution.”

Alicia’s safety was partly due to the absence of the church’s most powerful figures. Without them, the radicals lacked the influence to escalate matters, and the presence of moderates like the Saintess of Purification kept things relatively calm.

"…In short, there’s no one available to help you right now."

“......”

Yujin frowned slightly. Time wasn’t on Alicia’s side.

‘Perhaps we could involve the First Princess, even if it’s a bit of a stretch.’

If the First Princess was already working to help Alicia by restoring her social position and supporting her husband, wouldn’t it be more efficient for her to assist Alicia directly?

Yujin could easily transport Alicia to her sister with spatial magic, then visit her during his free time to oversee her treatment.

‘It’s worth considering after a few days…’

As Yujin mentally mapped out a rough plan, Alicia suddenly spoke.

“…Professor.”

“…Yes?”

“…If you could… be the one to help me…”

Yujin looked up at her in surprise.

“…Would that be… alright?”

With her face flushed and her head lowered, Alicia glanced up at Yujin hesitantly.

『......』

“......”

Yujin could feel Tiamat’s icy gaze piercing through him, sending a shiver down his spine.